DEAL OR NO DEAL

When in relationships, we often find ourselves in situations which bring to attention our significant others' imperfections. While we may try to cover up our true feelings with “your flaws are beautiful, bb”, what we actually want is for the person to not talk about cats any more and to stop dribbling food down their chin. But how do you decide when enough is enough?

If it ain't broke, fix it before it is: A deal-breaker can range from anything to everything. It could be the way he grooms his hair with more finesse than you do. It could be the way she laughs -- like a hyena suffering from appendicitis. It could be your meddlesome sibling or their buffed-up ex (yikes). The right way to go about this would be to talk about it, and then try to resolve the issue. He'll learn to use less product in his hair, she'll undergo surgery for a nicer laugh -- a little communication is all it takes to save a relationship. Easy, no?

Cringe-O-Meter: On a scale of “this is actually quite cute” to “my brain is bleeding”, how much are you bothered by your better half's quirks? If a few deep breaths are all it takes to get used to their bad jokes, then relax, there's no need to cut ties. If, on the other hand, you find yourself gritting your teeth in their presence and reminiscing about the days when you were single, then you should probably think about leaving them for good. Sometimes, telling people they need to adjust themselves isn't enough; if they aren't willing to change for you, you shouldn't have to bear with them.

Know Thyself: Being compatible is key to any successful relationship. If your significant other looks upon your hobbies as silly (or if you feel that way about their interests), then it is quite obvious that getting along will be a problem in the long run. Sure, you can ignore the fact that he thinks watching anime is stupid, and yeah, he can deal with you thinking that gaming's a pointless thing, but for how long? When in a relationship, it is so easy to lose oneself in the effort we give to make the other person happy. It is very important to draw the line between compromising and transforming into an unrecognisable person. Who knows, he just might say, “I'm sorry, but you're not you anymore.” *Cue dramatic thunder and lightning.*

Can you live with it: When at a complete loss of what to do and how to proceed with the relationship, take a breather and try to imagine a future with your better (worse?) half. While there are some issues that one can get used to in the long run, others are much more serious and they'll only get worse with time. Having anger management problems, for example, can become a serious problem and be the root for an abusive and unhealthy relationship, and thus should be considered a definite deal-breaker.

It would be highly unrealistic of anyone to expect or strive for a perfect relationship. Challenges will arise and most of the time we will simply have to deal with the differences. At the same time it is important not to pursue something when it is clearly not meant to be. Learn to value yourself and if you must, walk away with your head held high.