FAKE CAKES!

Cakes are one thing you can never have enough of. We love cakes and we want cakes all the time; be it our birthday, our friends' birthdays, or birthdays of our friend's sister's boyfriend's nephew -- we can go the extra mile for cakes, literally. We, here at SHOUT, especially love to devour all types of cakes on every occasion we get; every other meeting, we are likely to have cakes for someone-or-the-other's birthday.

Unfortunately, there may come a time in a person's life when cake is a luxury s/he may not have, because it isn't available, or for medical reasons. Take it from someone who had to spend his birthday outside Dhaka without a cake, that feeling when you realise that you don't have a cake is one of the most disappointing ones, regardless of your age. But hey, you need to make a wish, blow out the candles, and cut something, right? Or else, it isn't really much of a birthday. Therefore, here are some ideas of food items that could be used as alternatives, shall you not have a cake on your birthday. Think of these as cakes and cut them anyway.
Jam, Butter and Bread: Turn your regular breakfast into a makeshift cake for your birthday. Make layers for a fluffy item that you can cut like a cake. Empty entire jars and packs of jam and butter if need be. I suggest applying the jam first, and adding a layer of butter on it to get the full flavours of both, and not the other way around.
Nocilla/Nutella/Peanut Butter and Bread: This is pretty much the same as the previous one, except using a spread that isn't as basic as butter and jam. Make layers, and be generous in spreading that Nocilla. Spread some colourful sprinkles on them, if available.
Sweets: Probably the oldest and easiest option, sweets are readily available at every corner of this country, and can be used as close alternatives for cakes. I prefer going for something that doesn't drip onto your clothes; something like shondhesh that are usually in cubic blocks, and can be cut like a cake, more or less.
Pudding: Pudding is easy to make (requirements: milk, egg, sugar) and incredibly delicious most of the time. Its usual circular shape allows it to be one of the best alternatives for cake on your birthday, and you can cut it too while people around you sing “happy birthday.” And the best part is that you can make flavoured puddings, according to your cake preferences.
 

French Toast: French toasts can be sweet or savoury, thus can be had by those who don't like sweet food. This was how I had to celebrate my last birthday. Make some French toasts, pile them up on a plate, put candles on top, and voila, there you have your sweet/savoury excuse of a cake.
I am a person who believes in equality, and my definition of equality includes the phrase, “Everyone deserves a cake on their birthday”. However, since I don't rule this nation, I cannot make cakes available at every corner of every neighbourhood of the country for our readers. But the ideas stated above could be considered in absence of an authentic birthday cake.