Musings of a Girl Who Doesn't Cook

I'm a girl and I don't cook.
There are girls who can't cook because they lack the skill. Others don't seem to have the time for it. And then there's us -- a very special breed of happy individuals who just prefer to be doing the actual eating.  
But it isn't easy being a Bengali girl who refuses to cook. In a show of solidarity to my kindred spirits, the following are some of the day-to-day jabs we tend to face as girls who simply don't get along with kitchen utensils.

 “Which one of these dishes is yours?”
This question is basically 'Not Cooking 101'. We have guests over, for a light get-together or a fancy dinner party. The table is laden with delicacies courtesy of a family member who can cook. Then one of the guests will inevitably ask us, “Which one did you cook?” and the rest of them will promptly follow suit.
The drill is to tell them it's their lucky day, because the dinner wouldn't have been edible if we'd been involved in making it. Laugh, shrug and repeat until the night is over. And repeat again at the next dinner party.

“You may not cook, but you DO bake, right?”
We meet people who tell us that they get it, that it's perfectly okay to not want to dabble in the culinary arts. We think for a few sweet moments that we've found someone just like us, until they burst the bubble by saying, in a manner of stating the obvious, “Of course, I bake. But really basic things like cakes and cookies, but that's a given, right?”
No. What? Please don't make it sound like a basic human skill. When we say “We don't cook,” it's a blanket ban on being able to produce anything edible. I thought that was a given.

“What are you good for, then?”
This one is from a very recent personal experience. Having explained that I simply don't enjoy the idea of cooking, never did and probably never will, my friend went on to ask me what it is that I am good for.
Of course, rattling off a tall list of my many fine qualities would probably have been the right response, but I figured a simple “eating” would suffice.

“It's okay; you'll cook for your husband eventually.”
As you might have guessed, this one comes from the “Make me a sandwich” portion of the population. It's actually more of a package deal, where they ask the above-mentioned questions and come up with their very own conclusion. Once we've made it obvious that it's more of a comprehensive inability to cook, they'll ask us how we plan to cope once we're married or better yet, reassure us that we'll get the hang of it when we have to cook for our “better” halves.
Not that there's anything wrong with cooking for your newly acquired family. But why take the already scary prospect of “eventually having to cook” and couple it with the even scarier prospect of “eventually having to marry”? Hasn't our lack of enthusiasm to feed other people already established the fact that we aren't of the homely breed?
It's not that we deem the skill not important enough. It's just something we simply don't enjoy; the same way some people don't enjoy sports or documentaries. You see what I mean? As basic an activity as it seems, it's simply not our cup of tea.
Facing these and many other similar jabs at not being able to cook, one truly learns to respect the skills of those who do. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have lasagna on the table, waiting for me to finish writing. I'd rant some more, but it's the cheese and pasta that demand my attention now.
Until next time, happy cooking and happy eating!