Postscript
Cruel, Stupid Moments
There are times in one's life when despite all intentions of being the contrary one finds oneself in what can best be described as a 'stupid moment'. It is that split of a second when you are forced to ask yourself:"Why am I doing this?” This is not to be confused with that deeper question: “Why am I here?” which is the conundrum centring all theological debates and spiritual dilemmas.
Unless of course one is literally asking: “Why am I here?” upon coming to the kitchen after a satisfying episode of 'Gulshan Avenue', an attempt to portray the rich and decadent of Dhaka. In this particular case you may be forgiven the temporary glitch in your memory drive after the riveting, mind-boggling (read numbing) show. But come to think of it, it does count as a 'stupid moment' though with less bite than the usual.
The remarkable thing about a stupid moment is that it occurs when you least expect it, ambushing you from hidden places, just when you were zoning out or feeling quite pleased with yourself. The unpredictability of the stupid moment makes it all the more devastating: after experiencing it life is never quite the same. It questions your intelligence, your common sense, your ability to be a rational human being. It nullifies your degree from a prestigious university or the fact that you actually met President Obama and shook hands with him. It dilutes the feeling of importance you feel when the security guards at your building spring up with undue deference like jack-in –the boxes, merely at the sound of your footsteps.
The stupid moment should not be confused with an epiphany which is described by Webster as “an experience and sudden striking realisation”. An epiphany is a Eureka moment when a scientific breakthrough has occurred or when one experiences a spiritual or philosophical truth that will have great experience in one's way of thinking and approach to life. All famous scientists/philosophers/spiritual leaders of repute have had one or more epiphanies that may have changed mankind forever but even regular people can have such great moments of self-realisation. A stupid moment, unlike an epiphany merely tells you what a goofball you are, especially as you didn't realise it until that very second. It is when you are trying to dance the bhangra at a wedding with a hundred other people and it dawns on you that you have been doing the same hand and foot movement for the last hour with the same silly smile plastered on your face for apparently no good reason. It is when that little voice in your head (hopefully just one) will keep taunting like a four-year-old spoilt brat: “Why are you doing this?”. You find your knees protesting this self-inflicted torture while your sense of self-respect disintegrates into a pool of nothingness when you see a few youngsters laughing their heads off while looking at you. One of them of course, is recording everything on a cell phone.
According to experts (those who have had a fair share of stupid moments) the more stressed you are, the more likely that you will have a stupid moment. Many workaholics, for instance, will find themselves doing the oddest things especially when they are at home. They will put their files in the fridge and butter in the cupboard. They will leave the house in two different coloured socks or shoes from two different genres. They are also likely to reach half way to school, trying to be the cheery, cool parent only to find that the child is missing.
Sometimes your brain just betrays you and pushes you headlong into the 'stupid moment' waters. At a party full of glitterati and literati, you run into a friend you haven't seen in a long time. You hug and kiss the wife addressing her by name. She is quite stiff and unyielding to your display of familiarity. Your friend looks pained. A few seconds later after the couple has hurried away from you, you realise you have called her 'Sohana' who happens to be your friend's ex girlfriend, the one who broke his heart in college, the one he never got over, the one married to his childhood buddy. Stupid moment right there though it may compete with you telling the waiter to get you another glass of tomato juice. He is of course, not the waiter but a distinguished guest who thought wearing a white shirt, black trousers and red bowtie would make him stand out. Boy, does he feel stupid now.
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