Postscript
Killing Talkers
As a nation we are known for being resilient, hospitable, easy going and a bit confused. We are also famous for being great talkers. People here just love to talk. Think of all the addas, formal and informal, talk shows that dominate the TV channels, talk show hosts who constantly interrupt the guests, the number of seminars and conferences we hold and of course all the political rallies where being able to shout oneself hoarse is a prerequisite to getting access to the podium.
The truth is we love to hear our own voices and somehow think what we have to say is more interesting than anyone else's views. The fruitless 37 minutes between our two top leaders is a case in point. It is probably the crux of the problem because when two people keep talking at the same time, NO ONE IS LISTENING.
While good public speaking skills are essential for people in leadership roles, there is always a danger of becoming one of those people everyone avoids because they talk too much.
These people are not those charming, funny, intelligent characters who keep the party going with their regaling anecdotes and hilarious jokes. No, we are talking about individuals who, like predators, look for their victim(s) and pounce on them when they least expect it, latching on to them like hungry leeches and then draining out all the sap from them with their incessant chatter and excruciating details. All they want is an audience – when they are done with the host and guests they will target the household staff, the children, sometimes even the pets, who of course can't really say anything even if they wanted to.
One of the clever ways that chatterboxes will trap you is by asking you an innocuous question like 'How are you?' Before you can even start talking about your latest ailment, they will interrupt you and go on a long and convoluted story about aches and pains in twelve different places, how they are treating it, how each one happened with incidental information of people who were there at the time and what they were going through. Digression is part and parcel of these conversations and soon you may be wondering why you are privy to such intimate information regarding perfect strangers.
For good listeners, therefore, this is a painful experience as you try to follow the trail of disjointed events and comments and strain out the debris to get to the essence of it-which boils down to one thing: none of this is going anywhere in particular. If you are big on self-preservation staring into the person's eyes and trying to count the number of wrinkles, warts and moles in the talker's face can be a fascinating distraction. The fact that you are staring at them with rapt attention will encourage them to go on and on while you blissfully put the wrinkles and warts into categories, making them compete with each other in terms of number and size. The danger is when all of a sudden they ask you: “So what do you think?” The best way to deal with this is to look thoughtful and say “I'll have to think about it but tell me, have you lost weight, you look ten years younger?!” The talker will be taken off guard but in a pleasant way and will definitely go into yet another tangent related to diet, illness, creams, lotions and exercise routines while you can start focusing on whether the eyebrows are aligned properly or not.
One of the interesting things about a talker is that their significant other will, in all likelihood, be a silent one. This is not simply about opposites attracting each other but more to do with practicality. You can't have two talkers in a relationship as they will constantly try to outtalk each other – it may end up in utter disaster. Marrying a listener is therefore the wisest decision a talker can make. For the listener, though, it is not that straight forward. Years of listening can lead to bitterness: many a divorce has resulted even after years of marriage because a spouse has not been able to get a single word in.
Chatterboxes are not necessarily all bad. There are redeeming features. They help to fill in all those awkward silences. They serve as background music at parties and restaurants. They help phone companies to thrive by keeping the lines busy for hours on end. They are also known to benefit insomniacs with their sleep-inducing abilities.
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