Write to Mita
Dear Mita,
My parents are great but they are beyond overprotective. I think it's because I'm an only child. I don't have a phone, I'm not allowed to use the computer; be it to go online, write articles, or play games. They took my laptop and iPod away and I am only allowed to use them during holidays. I'm smarter than most kids at school. I don't smoke, drink, do drugs and I don't have a boyfriend! My parents won't even let me sleep alone in my own room. I hate sneaking behind their backs and going on facebook and I don't like stalling our landline. I have stopped going online without telling them so that I can build trust but I don't think it's working. I'm seventeen and I think it is about time they lay things off. I want a normal life like my friends. My parents never understand when I tell them. I have told them countless times and have even gone to a counselor to help me get rid of the depression. How on earth do I make them understand that I'm not six years old anymore?
Fed up
Dear Fed Up,
This must be very difficult for you. However, this is not unusual. Parents wanting to do the best for their children often alienate them with their over protectiveness. This is not fair on you neither will it help to create a relationship of trust and understanding. Someone must talk to them and explain that this kind of child rearing is out of date and obsolete. True, all children need to be disciplined and an amount of control but this certainly should not extend to taking away your phone, computer, play games etc. Please talk to a relative or friends of your parents whom they trust and explain your situation to them. Most probably your parents are not understanding the harm this is doing to your long term relationship with them. Meanwhile, keep on talking to them they might eventually understand.
Dear Mita,
I am a 28-year-old man working for an NGO. My boss is a woman in her late forties. I really enjoy my work but right now the environment is getting very difficult for me. At first I just thought she (my boss) was being friendly and supportive. She would often send me funny emails and texts. Then she gave me a really expensive watch for my birthday but she did this without my other colleagues knowing, also telling me not to tell anyone. I was not happy about it but didn't want to offend her as she is my boss. A few days ago she directly told me that she is attracted to me and that she wants to have an affair. I was completely flabbergasted and didn't know how to react and so told her that I wanted to go on leave as I was not feeling well. But I know I should have told her that I was just not interested. I am in a real dilemma: I know the best thing would be if I left my job but right now it will be difficult to get a job instantly. My parents live with me and are dependent on me financially. I feel so trapped and just cannot think of how to deal with this. Please help me.
Helpless
Dear Helpless,
This must be very odd for you. Start to look for another job as you will not be able to work here for very long and don't leave your job right away, Your boss is not being ethical and does not understand the decorum of the office. It is not right for her to put you in this awkward position. However, in such a situation honesty is the best policy. You have to convey to her somehow that you are not interested in having an affair with her but rather, you are looking for a relationship that will hopefully culminate in marriage some day. Most probably she will not react positively which might make your continuing in this job very difficult. Just hang in there as long as you can or till you find another suitable position.
Dear Mita
I am in my early twenties and am single. I meet many girls and talk to them but can't find my life partner in them. I see many of my friends who are in relationships. I often become frustrated seeing them. I like a girl in my college but cannot express my feelings to her and she is not too friendly with me either. The main problem is that I get really shy when it comes to talking to girls, especially if they are not known to me. I am generally a quiet person and perhaps that is why I can't get close to girls. I am really unhappy with myself and becoming depressed. What should I do? Please help me getting out of this depression. Should I be in a relationship? If yes, how do I go about it?
Frustrated Guy
Dear Frustrated,
Don’t be so upset, all this is a part of socialisation. Some people are naturally extrovert and some are shy and introvert. This is not anything unusual. Don't try so hard, it will happen, some girl will come and talk to you and become your friend. Remember, for every shy boy girl there is another shy girl waiting.
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