No Surprises

I hate my kids. Always have. They're strange little parasites. They shoot me this goofy smile whenever they see me, which, these days, isn't a lot. It's like that smile is going to make up for how extremely self-centred they are. I suppose I can't blame them. My mom used to call me selfish too. Karma, I suppose. But I love my kids. Always have. I enjoy being fed off of. That makes me feel purpose. The younger one just started losing his milk teeth. His toothless smile sure is something. He won't ever ask me how work went. He'll just reach for the balloon he knows I'll always bring him. Darn that kid.

I hate my wife. Always have. She's far from the wonder woman I thought I had fallen in love with. Back then, she was so perfect that she didn't even seem human. She promised me there would be no drama in our relationship. She wouldn't mind when I opted for a night out with the guys rather than giving her time. For all that and more, I love my wife. Always have. But our exchanges are ritualistic now. She'll have a look of peacefulness on her face when she watches me playing with the kids. She'll somehow get all the work done around the house even after dealing with the 'ruckus at work' as she calls it. But if there was anything called 'the spark', it hasn't just faded, it's starting to make me question if it was ever there in the first place. I wonder if she feels the same way too. I doubt if either of us will ever ask, though. We'll just go on with it. It could have been worse, I suppose.

I hate my job. Always have. I took it up because I thought it would be a better alternative to the traditional 9 to 5. The guys at the Sports Desk are an annoying lot. We're supposed to be the ones with the best job at the paper. But I never thought you could lose the passion you had for something when you start doing it for money. I guess the fire has to burn out once you feel you're obliged to keep it lit. But working with football transfer rumours has always been exciting, which is why I love my job. Always have. You can even make up stuff and sneak them into the articles when nobody's looking.

I hate my life. Always have. I grew up convinced that I was different, that I was an exception to the rule. I never had an answer when people at family gatherings asked me what I wanted to become. I sort of knew that I was going to be someone very different, very unique. But I never knew what that was. The uncertainty lasted till my late twenties. I struck a bit of gold with everything I touched and people came to expect great things. That made me love my life. I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted.

I hate being stuck in the same place. Always have. I read in a Maya Angelou poem that life had to be measured by the moments that took your breath away. But I suppose there's something really enchanting about helping my younger one get by without training wheels. And there's something pretty relaxing about seeing my wife look on with pride as he finally gets going.

I suppose I love the comfort of knowing what awaits me tomorrow. Always have. Surprises are scary.

Prompt: Risingson
Deadline: 23/10/2014

ILLUSTRATION: ZOHEB MASHIUR