*Shaath Khoon Maap (The South Asian Immigrant's Delusional Love Affair with America)

What is it about the upwardly mobile Deshi (South Asian) immigrant in the US that tends to view this “democracy” as a bastion of fairness and civility—to the point of delusion? Perhaps it's overcompensation—a need to fit in, be accepted by the Man, but I have observed a hesitation to call out their adopted country for various hypocrisies and engage in critical dialogue, plus a need to wave flags and buy into the “streets paved with gold” mythology.
A recent debate with my fellow Deshis was about rape and misogyny in places like Afghanistan and India, which is one of the worst places on the planet to be a girl child or female at this time. The most common (and true) perspective is that women have no real legal recourse in these regions to protect themselves, and therefore it is worse over there. I said, yes, but that the US was not much better—in certain respects, not all. I mean I am not insensible to the fact that I can go jogging in shorts and not expect to be beheaded in the Meadowlands stadium later as a result. But there are some archaic and religious notions that are arguably misogynistic in America as well.
It was (predictably) counter argued that at least in the US a woman is not forced to marry her rapist. But what if one is already married to their rapist? Some digging on my part led to the verification of what I suspected; that views on victim's rights and violence against women vary from state to state and that some laws/attitudes resemble the Taliban's views on women's rights. While no state will argue that rape is not a crime, there are laws on the books in 31 states that allow a rapist to sue for custody or visitation rights to the child that they sired through this act of violence. This means that the victim may be forced under law to still deal with her rapist and have her innocent child exposed to him as well. She would be legally liable if she did not allow it. This is a further violation of the victim.
People who insist that America is more civilized from a legal standpoint should check out the evolution of marital rape laws here.Marital rape is now considered a crime in all 50 states, though the nation was very slow in coming to this realisation in keeping with its pattern that includes being the last to outlaw slavery and grant women the right to vote. In 1976 Nebraska finally outlawed spousal rape exemption and in 1984 NY followed suit. Yet, in California spousal rape is defined as separate (read, mitigating circumstances, thus lesser) from stranger rape. In a recent case in Illinois a woman was repeatedly raped and brutalised by her husband and though he was convicted of assault, he was able to plea bargain and the case never went to trial because of the stance that marital rape was somehow less serious than stranger rape.

**The evolution of the American social and judiciary system concerning marital rape stems from the 18th century common law as interpreted by English jurist Mathew Hale: "The husband cannot be guilty of rape . . . for by their mutual matrimonial consent and contract, the wife [has] given up herself in this kind unto her husband, which she cannot retract."
By the 1950's no real progress had been made. A Model Penal Code was drafted and did not completely do away with the spousal rape exemption. The MPC states: "Marriage . . . while not amounting to a legal waiver of the woman's right to say 'no,' does imply a kind of generalized consent that distinguishes some versions of the crime of rape from parallel behavior by a husband. . . . Retaining the spousal exclusion avoids this unwarranted intrusion of the penal law into the life of the family."
The debate kept harkening back to Sharia Law and how that was the driving force behind the Taliban's power and the intrinsic misogyny of predominantly Muslim countries. After the State of the Union address by Obama, house Republicans voted overwhelmingly to outlaw abortion. I do not think I have to further expound on the implication of that. Smells a bit “Taliban-ey” to me.
In 1998 a 12-year-old Indian American girl was raped by her brother and became pregnant. She was a baby herself and so was not aware she was pregnant until after 24 weeks. In Michigan where she lived she was not allowed to have an abortion, regardless of her age and the fact that she had been raped. She had to travel to Kansas to do it. By then the baby she was carrying was 29 weeks old but they allowedit because of the circumstances. Michigan courts wasted time and allowed the baby to grow further. So another child was sacrificed and had sense and decency prevailed the fetus could have been terminated much earlier, when it was not an almost fully formed person.
Also prevalent in most discussions about the Taliban or the situation in the region is a fundamental lack of understanding of what brought about the Taliban's power. The regions that serve a strategic purpose in the geo-political scramble, which involves most of the “super powers”, not just the US, have been systematically compromised for decades. The US partnered with one Osama Bin Laden to oust the Soviet presence from the region. Bin Laden notoriously went rogue and the US lost control but refused to give up its toehold. Women in Afghanistan pre Sovietinvasion, pre US meddling, enjoyed freedom, education and self-determination. To blame the region's woes on Islamic fundamentalism alone is naïve and simplistic and the most common perspective amongst non-Muslim South Asians. Religious fundamentalism does not happen in a vacuum. It is helped along by a series of factors, cultural proclivities, literacy rates, and stability amongst them, as well as colonisation.
I am not saying America is worse for women than Afghanistan or India, I am saying that misogyny and violence against women and girls is a global problem, that in this fair land there are still quarters that view women as the property of her husband; that America has its own version of Sharia Law—in this case the Christian right wing are the arbitrators, who feel passionately that women should have no reproductive rights. Incidentally, this weekend is the Super Bowl, which the Attorney General described as the single biggest weekend for sex traffickers in the US.
I am not interested in re-locating to Kabul but the US is going through her own struggle. The chasm between the classes is growing wider. Many of my students tell me the same story: “I had to drop out because there was not enough money. I had to give up on my dream of becoming, a pilot, a nurse, a teacher because I could not afford the tuition. I have no health insurance…” This nation will not nudge forward if her upwardly mobile immigrant citizens do not challenge that which requires challenging and outrage. I love this country; it's time to re-imagine it.

*    The title literally translated means “Seven murders pardoned”, it's a Bengali/Hindi expression meaning all is forgiven.
**    Source: Spousal Rape Laws Continue to Evolve
    By Caroline Johnston Polisi
    WeNews commentator