This Week's Horrorscope

ARIES
Why are you still eating grapes?  

TAURUS
There is a great place for fried chicken everywhere. 

GEMINI
Glasses are nice but sunglasses are nicer.  

CANCER
Water is good for your brain and for your soul.   

LEO

Some of us are trying to not fall asleep every night. 

VIRGO

Roses look like roses only when they are made of paper.  

LIBRA

Blue stripes are always better than red ones. 

SCORPIO

Bugs look like they are always looking for trouble. 

SAGITTARIUS

If you are going to grow out a beard, then make sure you condition it. 

CAPRICORN

Great men live long and really great men live long too.   

AQUARIUS

Side dishes are just as good as side shades.   

PISCES

Some places look like mushroom houses.