THE MENTAL HEALTH <br>TABOO

Expect problems. They are a part of our lives.

Let's say you are sick of being bullied by a fellow classmate and your confidence is running dangerously low. Maybe you are about to sit for your board exams in a few weeks' time and you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Perhaps, your parents are fighting incessantly over petty issues, or you just found out that your partner is cheating on you, or someone in the family passed away and you are so upset that you can hardly get your mind past these issues. So, basically, what to do when life gives you korolla (not Corolla)?

Some emotional setbacks can be overcome with just a little effort while others might leave a deep impact on us. Adolescents especially face a lot of turmoil as they tread onto the different phases of growing up. Puberty leads them through a new and unfamiliar set of social experiences and often they do not know how to cope with the changes that come their way. Young adults are too old to cry over toys and too young to talk to guardians about the problems in life. Academic stress, relationship issues and peer pressure add to the difficulties they undergo. Also, meeting others' expectations makes life difficult for many. Arnob Rahee, an O Level student, says, “At times I do not understand whom to go to with my problems. It is difficult to talk to parents about certain issues. So, I end up keeping them to myself.”

Since talking through a problem helps us discover its various facets, it is important that teenagers reach out to a responsible person instead of keeping their problems to themselves and making matters worse. “Often people do not discuss their issues with family members or friends because they are afraid of being judged,” says Zeenat Shams, student psychologist at Sunnydale school. She also adds, “Under such circumstances, a great person to share your thoughts and feelings with is your school counsellor. Most adolescents feel that they are being misunderstood by everyone else and often small things like using Facebook becomes an issue of conflict with their parents. So, stress management and anger management are some of the key issues that we deal with. We encourage both individual and group therapy sessions and call at their homes, only if the students permit us to do so.”

The terms 'psychologist' and 'psychiatrist' are often used interchangeably to describe anyone who provides therapy services. While both study the brain, emotions, feelings and thoughts, there is a fine line between the two fields of study. A psychiatrist has a degree in medicine and a psychologist has a doctoral-level degree in psychology. Another significant characteristic is psychiatrists can prescribe medications while in most cases psychologists cannot. The majority of schools and universities in the West appoint in-house psychologists for their students. While many English medium schools and both public and private universities in Bangladesh employ psychologists these days; the advancement is still not satisfactory in terms of quality and quantity though. Psychologists, also known as counsellors, offer students with an objective outlook of their problems and guide them through the difficult situations in life. Since confidentiality falls under their strict code-of-conduct, people can easily reach out to them without any hesitation or fear of being judged.

Approaching a psychologist, however, is often looked down upon in our society. Even students who go to the schools or universities which employ psychologists might be unwilling to get an appointment because someone might see them at the door of the psychologist and think that they are too weak to tackle their own issues. Nonetheless, this is an irrational judgement. Homayara L. Ahmed, student counsellor at IBA, University of Dhaka, says, “I ask my students to come to me if any of their problems are hampering their academic or personal growth. I try my best to help them cope with subjects like academic shortcomings, financial problems, loss of a parent etc.” Ateea Azad , a student at North South University says, I approached my university's counselling team when I was quite stressed and needed to restore my faith in myself. My counsellor helped me to handle pressures better and checked on how I was doing from time to time.”

Many a time, what young individuals need is empathy and not sympathy. They need to be understood and accepted. Our academic institutions play a vital role in guiding us through the odds and shaping us for the future. So, it is important that they create an environment where the students can grow as individuals. Sadly, many institutions here underestimate the importance of having a counselling team. Since there is a notion that visiting a psychologist is 'not socially acceptable', we are lagging behind in providing our students with the best facilities but it is high time that we start accepting visiting a psychologist as a rational decision. Over the years, peoples' perceptions have changed for the better. Many parents and teachers are now more open to the conflicts that teens might face. Seeking help from professionals is on the rise too. However, there is still a long way to go in terms of implementing counselling at the national level and being more accepting of it. Otherwise, we will end up contributing to our own problems instead of resolving them.

PHOTOS: DARSHAN CHAKMA