The 'Smart' Talk

Photo: Prabir Das

I have a dream that I'll return home one day and find my husband waiting eagerly to flood me with silly details of the day. I have a dream that when we go to bed at night, we will be able to set aside our phones and have a normal conversation just like people did in ancient times. I have a dream that one day my husband won't be smiling to himself as he reads something funny on his phone while I yell myself hoarse, trying to get his attention to the manhole in front of him.
I might have a noble dream but I realise how difficult it is going to be to get my husband or any person from my circle, really, to set their phones at a table near them, and just talk. . . with their mouths.
If you keep your ears and eyes open, you'll notice that things around you have been much quieter. It's not all that bad really. You are spared the torture of listening to the incessant complaints of the acquaintance who finds the country “incredibly dour, darlings.” You don't have to bear the moans of the long-distance friend who has had his third divorce and is on the lookout for new prey. But don't get too happy too fast. Your surroundings might seem peaceful and devoid of all that noise but your phone is acting overtime, forcing you to either obsess about it all day long or to turn it off to preserve your sanity.
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for the zombification of the human kind. But it is kind of sad that conversations are rapidly becoming a thing of the past – at least those that involve face to face time. We have packaged the whole globe in an electronic device, and that definitely helps to keep in touch with the rest of the world. But unfortunately, we seem to be distancing ourselves from the inner world of loved ones.
Think about it. Do you seriously need to upload a photo of your dinner at that very moment instead of savouring the food and having an interesting conversation with the person sitting next to you? In our goal to maintain an 'image' on the social media, we seem to be ignoring actual human interactions. We seem to have forgotten that it's more important to care about our relationships in the actual world than maintaining the ones that we forge in the virtual one. We give more importance to digital communication than to real life interactions but to what purpose? Do you truly believe that your friends won't be able to live with the disappointment of not seeing your Facebook update for a couple of hours while you enjoy a movie with your family? Is it that important to reply to a comment on your profile picture when you are in the midst of a conversation with a friend? Do you really need to have your smartphone with you when you are in bed with your spouse?
I'm not saying that you shouldn't own a smartphone or that you should trash it immediately in search for meaningful conversations. You can't place all the blame on an electronic device; you are a human being not a robot. All that you need to do to be human and yet own a smartphone is to stop being a slave to a device that honestly can't have any control over you until you absolutely want it to.
In order for you to have a healthy, non-clingy relationship with your smartphone, you first need to understand that it is a NON-LIVING THING. Don't give it more importance than actual human beings. No matter how tempting it might seem to pull out your phone during a lull in a conversation, DON'T do it! You wouldn't like it if someone worked on their phones while you were trying to talk to them. Give your friends and family members the respect of listening to what they have to say and speaking when you are spoken to and definitely, putting your phone away while you do so.
I find it extremely annoying when people prefer to text an invite to their wedding or wait for hours for a person to respond to their WhatsApp message instead of just calling the other person. You do realise that your smartphones come with a call button, don't you? It doesn't take much to just call someone you care about and chat with them from time to time instead of letting your fingers do all the talking. Instead of typing a 'HBD' (this is another pet peeve; how long does it take to type down the full words?) on your best friend's Facebook wall, you could just call them up. The smile in his/her voice will be well worth the money spent on phone bills.
You won't be caught staring at a screwdriver for hours at an end, will you? If a screwdriver is just a tool, then so is your phone. Use your smartphone when you actually want to talk, text or message someone. Use it when you want to use the internet or when you are alone and have absolutely nothing to do. Don't let yourself become a Gollum and your smartphone become Sauron's ring. Seriously, it's not that precious.