TO JUDGE OR NOT TO JUDGE

Will you judge me if I said I watch 'One Tree Hill?'
Probably you will. And, if you don't, chances are that I will judge you.

So, what is it that makes a person form an opinion of another person based on what he/she likes or dislikes in terms of food, entertainment or even clothes? Essentially, our choices reflect who we are and what we eat, wear or listen to decide how others will perceive us.

We all assume that what a person listens to could tell us a lot about who they are, and it is not uncommon for the question, 'So, what sort of music do you listen to?' to be one of the first asked upon meeting someone new. This is how we try to peep into people's playlists, measuring him/her and trying to determine whether we would or even want to get along.

Back when the iPod Classic was launched, a trend started that allowed people to get to know each other and try to figure out one another by having a look at the songs on their iPod. It went as far as celebrities and even George W. Bush was asked the question. Interestingly enough, he listened to songs by people who probably did not and would not vote for him.

Most people take their entertainment seriously because there is a raw emotional connection to things like movies and music, which is why one's personal choices are often used to evaluate the entire person. Hence, appreciating songs like 'Baby Doll' or 'Dhakar Pola' is, probably, likely to invite condescending stares. If you are one of the viewers of the 'Saas-Bahu' Hindi serials, no one can save you from the critics. You will be judged, frowned upon and even laughed at. Also, if you are a Liverpool fan, these apply to you.

People not only judge each other based on what they eat, what they wear and where they live, they also closely observe what electronics they whip out to use in public. In some ways, a person's choice of phone might say a lot about them, not necessarily all of which make sense. Using local or Chinese brands makes anyone more prone to be judged. On the other hand, expensive Apple devices make their users seem shallow and narcissistic who prefer brand name over functionality. Using a pink phone might not be as unusual as wearing a hot pink shirt but the glaring eyes of the people around will still make you uncomfortable, at the very least.

It is normal in our culture to obsess about food and to label foods as 'regular' or 'fancy.' Ordering some blue-coloured and overpriced mocktail when all you want is a tall glass of lemonade to quench your thirst can just be an attempt to show that you are elite or hip. Many people start to give you cold vibes when they learn that you like 'panta bhaat' or 'shutki bhorta' because that makes you not-so-urban. There is however no simple answer to why so many of us have got into the habit of making the people in our lives feel guilty about their food choices.
Where we shop and what we wear have long been used to evaluate mankind and womankind, of course. Maybe that is one reason why many people shop from Bongo Bazar or Chandni Chowk but associate their outfits with trendy boutiques. Defying what conventions suggest, not all women wearing 'fotua' and spectacles are radical feminists and not all men wearing 'lungi' are 'khet' and should be charged by the fashion police. Also, long hair does not mean that he plays guitar and short hair does not necessarily convey that she is stubborn.

We certainly have come a long way in making sweeping generalisations about the people around us. Often we disregard the definition of opinion in the name of our factual definition of taste. However, tastes and preferences are highly subjective and they differ from person to person. Sadly, we still feel the need to criticise those with tastes that do not match our own. It is just built in our subconscious to evaluate another human based on their shoes, hair and how they represent themselves through tweets of 140 characters.

As much as you should not judge a book by its cover, we are all guilty of it from time to time. Many of us secretly love to listen to One Direction on repeat, but instead force ourselves into eye rolling at it in the distant hope that it might make us 'cool' and musically discerning. This is hypocrisy and stereotyping at its best. But you know what? It is okay to listen to Bieber or Miley Cyrus or One Direction. It is okay to indulge in Hindi serials, watch 'One Tree Hill' and cry over Luke's break-up for the nth time. It is okay to go out wearing a 'lungi' and have 'shutki'. Also, pink mobile phone sets. It is okay to flaunt them. They are supposedly the new male rebel icon but we do not know for sure.

Constantly measuring people against our perceived standards might seem to be a harmless pastime but on the flipside, it could leave hearts broken and souls scarred. Thus, being a bit more considerate can go a long way in accepting others for who they are. If you allow yourself to enjoy the things you want to, you can voluntarily increase your tolerance towards others' tastes and preferences. Needless to say, by criticising others we are making our own judgements open to question.

So the next time you get an itch to judge someone and make fun of their taste, remind yourself that your taste in music or clothes does not make you any more important or intelligent than them.