What not to wear on a bus

Let's say you're about to leave your house or hobbit-hole and you know that you'll be taking a bus. Are you sure you're wearing the right clothes? There are some things you're better off not wearing on a local bus and then there are some things you're better off not wearing at all. I'll be addressing the former.

NO & NO.

White, in general, is a bad colour to wear out in public. It is especially a bad choice if the material used is cotton or wool. On a bus, this is a no if you mind getting a questionable stain. White is off-limits because people sweat in the bus. Sweaty clothes get dirty easily. White clothes get dirtier easily. Buses are dirty, and if you're standing there's a good chance other passengers will squeeze past you, rubbing much of their particles onto your sexy white hoodie. If you have a sexy white hoodie, then it may be best to carry it around in your bag.
If it is cold outside, wear layers instead of one really warm piece of clothing because the crowdedness on a bus is unpredictable. If you miscalculate and it's too crowded, then you have the option of removing a layer. So assume the worst and wear layers. And monkey caps are a bad idea because they mess up your hair (unless you have really short or really long hair) and when it's hot inside the moving metal cage and you take off your skullcap, you'll look stupid. No, this didn't happen to me. Not with buses anyway. And for summer, wear layers too. I think a vest helps absorb the sweat and stops your top layer from looking like a Rorschach ink blot.

NO & NO.

Don't wear baggy pants. It is easy to take stuff out of them without you noticing. By wearing baggy clothes, you are basically placing a sign on yourself to attract pickpockets. Wear jeans or cargo pants that are your size, or one of those tight, colourful circus pants that are all the rage these days. It is harder to take stuff out of them. Coats are a better choice to keep things in when wearing office attire. Apparel with buttons or zippers on pockets are always to be considered when planning to ride a bus. White cargo pants are under no circumstances okay to wear on a bus.
For women if you're going to stand then maybe think about carrying less in your handbag. When holding on to the bar attached to the roof you'll regret taking whatever miscellaneous mysteries you carry in your handbags.
This last one applies to everyone. Wear something that you're comfortable in when standing in a crowded environment for an extended period of time. Don't wear tight monkey-suits. This is a jab at my cousin whom I saw today wearing a tight monkey-suit. He was in severe discomfort. I wouldn't wish such torture on my worst enemies, let alone the seven people who will merely skim this article.