Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am an 18-year-old A-Levels student. One year ago, I met a girl at a coaching centre, and started talking to her. Gradually I developed feelings for her, mainly because she seemed a very gentle girl and her personality impressed me a lot. It was evident that she came from a conservative family, and as I was also from one, I thought we could understand each other well. But when I approached her and asked her out on Facebook, she said she would not be involved in any relationship because she was a religious girl. I was fine with her answer and wanted to move on. However, it is her attitude towards me which really hurt. She has not said a word to me since then (which is about six months), even when I wished her a happy new year. I know she does not want me as a boyfriend, but I just wanted to talk to her and normalise the situation. I have received information that some classmates from the coaching centre were saying bad things against me and I just wanted to clear my reputation. But she has blocked me from Facebook and also stopped every kind of communication with me. I asked one of my friends to see if he can speak to her but she has been very rude to him as well. I have tried to distract myself but can't. I like her a lot and would just like to present my side of the story to her. I know I can't forget her or concentrate on other things but I don't know what to do about this. Please help!
Love Drunk
 

Dear Love Drunk,
There might be many reasons for her behaviour. As she said, she is religious and perhaps does not want to talk to boys, or she has family pressure which is prohibiting her to mix with the opposite sex. Whatever is the case you should respect her wishes and leave her alone. Please remember, it is a personal choice to become friends with someone or not. You might be hurt, which is unfortunate, but from her point of view you are intruding into her independence and privacy. You might not like my response, but in life on many occasions you might be rejected and you will have to learn to accept it.    
Dear Mita,
I am a 21-year-old university student. I have been in a relationship with this guy, who is 24 years old, for almost a year. He is very sweet and used to be crazy about me when we first started dating. But now, I constantly feel like his love for me is not real and he is just forcing himself to continue with this relationship. I even overheard him telling a friend that he feels like he is “pretending" to like this relationship. He recently got a full-time job and finds little time for me. We don't talk at all in the daytime but talk for an hour every night. If I call him during the day when he is at work, he tends to get irritated. He doesn't like it when I post pictures of the two of us on Facebook. He usually wants to avoid our dates and if I ever tell him that I cannot talk to him one night, he heaves a sign of relief! He also admitted that he is with me because he thinks I am perfect for him and that he can never love me the way he loved his ex. That kind of emotion will not work for today's relationships. He wants our relationship to proceed strategically rather then emotionally. For the past few months I have been worried sick about all this. We get into fights frequently as I get suspicious about his actions. I don't know what I can do to make him love me. I badly want this relationship to work. What should I do?
Can't Take This Anymore
 

Dear Can't Take This,
I am very sorry to tell you but the writing is on the wall. He is no longer in love with you. I know this is very hard to accept but that is the truth. You cannot make anyone love you. Love happens due to multiple reasons, however, it can also go away.  Sad as it might be, he seems to have lost interest in you. This does not mean that you are at fault because you have not been able to keep him interested. These things happen through no fault of anyone. The magic has gone and the more you push for it ,the worse it will get. My sincere advice is to leave with dignity. Tell him that you feel that he does not love you any longer and therefore it is better to separate. Two things might happen. He might realize his mistake and feel that he is indeed in love and will become his previous self. But he might be relieved that you are breaking this relationship and say good bye. As I said, it is sad and hard to accept but in the long run you will be better off.