Self-help Books for the Bangladeshi

Every newsstand in this city is proliferating with odd self-help books these days. And people actually buy them. They come in all sizes: some can fit in your pockets, while others are rather large.

I don't know how effective they are (probably not much) but they do seem quite profitable.

The Language Guides
If you are the person who wants to learn a new language every 30 days, these are for you. There's help in the market for practically every language: English, German, Spanish, French, Belgian, Korean, Russian, Mandarin, etc. They all promise to teach you a new language within 30 days.

However, if you seriously want to learn one, they won't really be of any help. They just list the most common words in that language like egg, spoon, table, etc. and give the Bengali and English translation beside them.

You won't learn anything except how to say "Good Morning!", "Good Night!", "How are you?" and "I am fine, thank you" in your desired language.

The Spiritual Guides
Now these are 100 percent oogah-boogah. They give you some mantras or something to help you attain peace in your everyday life. They'll talk about chakras and "pressure-points" of your body and proceed to brainwash you with how you can "release unnecessary energy out of your body."

The Food Guides
Apart from the hideous and irreverent covers of these self-help books, there seems to be nothing much wrong with them, if you take out the generic part. It might come of use to somebody who wants to cook simple stuff but doesn't know how, and can't Google it because he/she doesn't have internet.

The Psychological Guides
I actually came across one book that had a scarring cover with the title: "Formulas to Figure a Person Out". It was, as I said, scarring. They even gave a helpline, just in case we wanted their help in deciphering someone. Some of the distinctions this book gives actually borders on racism. You really don't want to be the one seen carrying it.

The How-To-Turn-On-Your-Computer Ones
We may laugh at these kinds of books, but it actually helps those who never really had computers at home. And it helps them figure out some of the things they find confusing.

Not everyone grows up with computers and this may be generic but it works for people. So, this actually self-helps. I don't know about the "Teach Yourself Photoshop within 30 Days" and "Ethical Hacking Guide" though.

The Texting Guides
Yes, there are self-help books that tell you how to text. They exist. But life is complex, so simple self-help guides need to upgrade themselves as well.

What was just a "How to SMS" book became "Complex Love SMS Guide" which has Bollywood actors on its cover, and practically every page inside. These pictures are accompanied by examples of "good (read: scarring) model text messages."

Here's an example: "Can I go to the theatre?" Asks a mosquito to her mother. "Yes, but be aware, pay attention during the applause." I didn't even know what that meant, and I was still scarred.

In conclusion, they are actually quite cheap, and come with beautiful girls on the cover. You can get the pocket-sized ones for 20-25 taka. The larger ones are all sold within 100 taka. That's a small price to pay for all the help they give you.