Fictional CV of a Bassist

Name
 Will get one when an interviewer asks for it. (Like that ever happens.)

Qualifications
 Has invisibility powers. No one ever notices me on stage.
 Is able to play out of tune without the band noticing like a top class bassist.
 Has effective sense of how not to find the key and delay joining in and embarrassing myself. Only myself, because nobody else will see/hear me.
 Can play any progression after being taught by the lead guitarist only once! (Seriously, you can't get anyone better than me.)
 Wanted to play bass from the start and wasn't one of those, “Oh, guitar's so hard” people.
 Knows how to remove the top two strings of a Bangla guitar, magically transforming it into a bass.

Biggest Achievement
 Was called 'musician' twice by a second cousin twice removed.

Experience
 Has successfully dropped out of school to pursue playing in sibling's K-pop band.
 Has performed in numerous holuds with said band.
 Has given lessons to students (actually just my second cousin twice removed) in the arts of bass.

Career Objective
 To boost my understanding and competence in musical endeavours by working in a band that will help me hone my skills beyond kindergarten.

Hobbies
 Death Metal, Psycho Metal, Pagan Metal, KKK Metal, Katol Mas Metal, Goat Metal, Yellow Metal, Black Metal, African American Metal..