FIRST DATE ETIQUETTE

For LADIES

Nifath Karim Chowdhury

First dates are always fun and exciting to look forward to; the butterflies, the nervous anticipation, the feeling that this will lead to something great. For the date to go successfully, you need to leave an impression, and to ensure that the impression is a good one, here are a few pointers for you.
The dreaded awkward silence: Avoid this at all costs. Ask him questions, and don't be afraid to laugh at his jokes; IF he amuses you, show it. Talk about yourself, but try not to interrupt him while he is saying his part. If there are silences don't start browsing your phone, think of things to say. When he asks you questions give nice long answers rather than monosyllabic “hmm” and “no”. Smile if he says something nice about you, and try to say something nice back. If, for some reason, you can't find anything good to say, just don't insult the poor guy.
The Narcissus Complex: You'll want to take out your mirror or head to the girls' room every five minutes to examine your reflection and bask in the glory of your perfection. As hard as it may be, resist the impulse. Just grit your teeth, keep your hands away from the mirror and look at your date. If he says you're looking nice, that should be enough of an assurance. Otherwise, at the end of the night, you'll realise you spent more time looking at yourself than you did interacting with him.
Hold back on the waterworks: We all want to be with someone with whom we can share our deepest thoughts and secrets and just let all our emotions out. A first date, though, is not an ideal moment to over-share. Try not to bring up sensitive issues like when your cat died which might make you teary and put your date in an uncomfortable spot (or a very comfortable spot). Either way, best not to bring up certain things on a first date like how your ex-boyfriend used to wear the exact same jacket that your date is wearing, except, of course, you ex's one was an original. Don't talk about your ex. Just don't.
The bill: This can get tricky. He will, of course, want to be a gentleman and treat you to a nice date and pay the bill but you, as a strong independent woman, will want to pay the bill yourself, right? Before your feminist nerves get all worked up, consider this -- at the end of a nice hour or two, do you really want to end the date on a sour note by fighting over the bill? Offer to pay, then gently insist and if that still does not move him, then just ask him out another time and make it clear that it's your treat.
Just remember: laugh, smile and have a good time.
Also, always leave them wanting more. Feel free to interpret it as you will.

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For GUYS

Shoumik Muhammed Mushfique

First dates worry people more than they should and that leads to pretty awkward moments. So this is for those poor lost souls who are yet to find an even footing. First impressions do matter and first dates are just the means to make one, the fun way if you know what you are doing.
Do some homework: Before you prep yourself for the day with your to-be-apple-of-the-eye, make sure you get to do some digging. Figure out some basic things; what she likes, her attitudes, some preferences. If you met her online, you don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure those out (Facebook cover photos FTW!). It's a lot like doing a background check on a potential employer before an interview, except this will more likely have you pay than get you paid anytime soon but well, you get the idea. If you already know the person, congratulations! You are far past stage 1.
Dress for success: As obvious as it is, humour me. Dress well. Or just dress right. Preferences differ among women. Some prefer clean cut mature adults, whereas some don't mind or actually like a wild, colourful and jovial get up. This is where the necessity for the background check manifests itself. Be clean, classy and coordinated. Groom yourself a little. A clean and tidy look is better than the rugged, unkempt, unshaven beauty. It shows that you're taking the date seriously.
Be attentive: NEVER keep a lady waiting. Be on time, be early if you must (makes it look like you couldn't wait to see her). I'm sure you are tired of being advised to hold doors open and what not; in case you're rolling eyes, well, manners do matter. Being well-mannered also means paying attention to little details like how often you interrupt her, how long you go on rambling about yourself, and let her grumpily enjoy her latte without really letting her speak up, or where your eyes are the whole time. It's ridiculous how so many still don't seem to know basic etiquette around women. Being a gentleman should not be something you reserve for dates only. But yes, please don't overdo it. Too much chivalry would send the wrong message to a feminist. Try not to make the date a psychotherapist session, talking mostly about exes, or emotional baggage. Some people may feel discomfort rather than sympathy. It helps to be a conversationalist. In case you're shy, you can always be a good listener. Be inquisitive about her life without prying; ask her about her school/university or work, what she likes and what her interests are.
Choose your destiny: When it comes to picking places, again, background checks help. You don't want to take a vegetarian to a fried chicken joint. It helps to ask for suggestions (rather than entirely letting the lady decide. Grow a pair, man!). Pick a fun place for the both of you, and your job should be easy seeing as how there are restaurants sprouting like mushrooms all over the town. And finally, ask her if she'd like to be dropped off if she's going home alone.
A first date is meant to be enjoyed, and maybe recalled fondly and laughed about with nostalgia someday, or cried over with longing. Make it worthwhile. Good memories are priceless.