MUSINGS
A CROSS TO BEAR
Dustin Hoffman and John Malkovitch in the film 'Death of a Salesman’.
For some life can be a cross to bear. The journey begins at an early age when the pressure to excel becomes a form of oppression or when an injury lodges in the heart. For the poor, meeting basic needs is a burden; for those born with the wrong genetic code the tormentor is society
In a fiercely competitive world the ways of getting ahead always do not follow the text book or the Holy Scripture. Besides there is something called kismet. Eventually the anguish of un-fulfilment rankles the heart. There are those whose successes become mantra. So the pressure is on the child to achieve more than the father has; getting into a good school, getting good grades, getting into a subject society seeks and the parents want and to prosper in one's career.
This is the model of a copy book son. The rules are generally lax in the case of the daughter. The world has capricious ways and all children are not equally endowed to fulfil the expectations of their parents. Some children therefore have a cross to bear when they are growing and possibly for a lifetime.
Arthur's Miller' famous play "Death of a Salesman" depicts a different picture of getting ahead in life. Willy Loman is a salesman in New York with a wife and two handsome, tall and strongly built lads. He has a temper, fixed ideas and is a little cruel. He believes that in a business career it is not what you do but who you know and the smile on your face that settles the contracts. In support of this view he recalls how this has landed many business contracts for him as a salesman.
Unfortunately the formula does not work for his eldest son Biff. He flunks math and cannot graduate. He wanders from job to job, state to state, even landing in jail. For that he blames his father and wants to be his own man. Willy thinks otherwise: that it was spite that is his undoing. The differences come to a head and Biff blurts out, "Dad you are never going to see what I am." He breaks down berating his father, "And I never got anywhere because you blew me so full of hot air I could never stand taking order! That's whose fault it was!"
As for the poor, their station in life does not include choices. Every male member is a possible contributor to whatever income the head of the family generates. When the situation worsens even the mother has to become an earner. The children the boys and the girls are also sent to earn. Before this perhaps they went to school or madrassa. They may not have been attentive students or were drop outs or were looked upon as possible brides. Still they were free wandering across the plains, among the trees, jumping into the pond, wading through wetlands collecting aquatic plants and spreading nets to catch sparrows imbibing the innocence of the age.
Despite success in later years Charles Dickens –a harsh childhood influenced his writing. Sometimes the need to supplement family income uproots them, setting them in an environment which is a house but far from being a home. Being born poor in Bangladesh is a burden and usually entails more effort for poor rewards. Even famous persons had experiences of childhood that weighed heavily on their mind like a cross to bear. Charles Dickens had a large brood of brothers and sisters. His father was a Naval Pay Office clerk and the parents were given to living beyond their means. That put the family in trouble. His father landed in a debtor's prison along with his wife and the little children. David's education temporarily ended there. He was sent to Warren's Blacking Factory at the age of 12 to support his family. To his deep anguish he was overlooked for his sister Fanny who was sent to Music School. It lodged in his mind like a cross to bear. In his recollections he expressed his anguish, "my whole nature was so penetrated by the grief and humiliation, that even now, famous and caressed and happy, I wander desolate back to the time in my life.” To say the least Bangladesh has to do much to become a disability-friendly society. A family in Dhaka had a daughter, a bonnie baby after a healthy son in late seventies. Tragedy struck after the family celebrated her 3rd birthday. The baby suffered a total fracture of her right femur for no apparently serious trauma. The cycle of fractures continued for six more years totalling more than 12. The local doctors said pray to Allah! The father found a way out and an American doctor confirmed that she had a rare genetic disease called brittle bone. She was surgically treated there and the girl returned home walking without support. In the process she became short statured at 4' 4". As she grew up the stares she drew made her shrink even further. The dispiriting barrage of queries will not end until she leaves the place. I talked to a young man of 30 who is wheelchair-bound since he was 7 years old. He spent much of his time outside Bangladesh. He talks clearly but the tone is low. He told me that it is the attitude that matters. As for disability-friendliness he pointed out the backwardness of our society. Who will take it forward!
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