Impressions
Friends Forever
It was perhaps last year that a report in the print media informed us that HM Ershad had invited his school friend from Dinhata of Kuchbihar to visit Bangladesh and be his guest. Ershad is in his eighties, hence the attachment is quite interesting. The news revived nostalgia in many hearts. Friends are dear in every age and in every society.
Warmth and informality are the two common endowments of friendship of any standing. There are friends by association at different levels, like from the same locality, in the same trade, with a shared interest in a sport, from the same schools, colleges, university and employment in the same organization etc. There are friends that meet and part with a 'hello', with momentary effusion of friendliness, there are friends for reasons of common or individual interest and necessity and there are even friends with daggers hidden in the cloak like Brutus. At the top of this are soul mates - friends forever.
Who is this soul mate? The thing that most people want in a good friendship is that he or she should be accepted for what he or she is. Such a friend will be there when needed in adversity or in necessity. Even the strongest mind needs a shoulder to cry on when life or a loss become a cross to bear. Every heart holds secrets. But friendship is a test of faith. For it is perceived that generally 'there is no faith trust and honesty in men' (Romeo Juliet) and that 'Frailty thy name is woman'(Hamlet) to cause misery. A soul mate can be a good counsel in such a situation.
The Veda is greatly valued for its prescription of wisdom for conducting life. It describes a good friend thus “Utsobe byasone choibo / durbikhkhe rashtrobiplobe / rajdware shawshane cho / jo tishthoti sobandhobo.” (In celebration and in pleasures / in famine and state revolution / at royal court and at the cremation / these are times when a friend stands by your side).
Photo: Prabir Das
It is widely believed that durable friendship develops in school life. It is the age of innocence. The spirit is fresh, unaffected and charitable when a good friendship is blossoming. It is a life long journey over the trials and tests of life. It applies for college and university friends as well perhaps to a lesser degree due to changing and discerning nature of life. Even in school and also in college and university, friends can fall apart, relationships becomes icy, sinking into detachment. It can even turn into hostility; friends turn into foes. The falling out can be over a trifling matter. Among college and university friends the falling out can take place over political affiliation, business interest and over a member of the opposite sex.
Can there be friendship between boys and girls, young men and women? Indeed there can! But the heart, the great script writer can morph it into love. In western society friendship between school-going boys and girls can become prospective romantic liaisons. High school sweethearts often end as life partners. In Bangladesh society high school and university level co-education is gradually becoming a nursery for romantic link ups leading to ringing of nuptial bells in families.
How do people choose friends? Is it good vibes, compatible personal chemistry, instant rapport or common likes and dislikes? Whatever may be the reason good friends are the chosen ones. In the popular movie 'Cinema Paradiso', the projector operator Alfredo tells his young friend Toto about the rules he follows in choosing a friend and an enemy: “I choose friends by their looks and my enemies by their intelligence”. It is inscrutable what one finds in a face unless of course one follows the rules laid down in Macbeth, ' Your face, my thane, is as a book where men may read strange matters'.
Great friendship flowers between great men and flounders too! WB Yeats was a great admirer of Rabindranath Tagore's phenomenal gift. In his introduction to Geetanjali, Yeats wrote “Rabindranath like Chaucer's forerunners, writes music for his words, and one understands at every moment that he is so abundant, so spontaneous, so daring in his passion, so full of surprise, because he is doing something which has never seemed strange, unnatural and in need of defence”.
W.B. Yeats did not like it when Tagore personally wrote his own English translation of Geetanjali. He remarked, “Tagore does not know English, no Indian knows English…. .Tagore is the product of a whole people, a whole civilization immeasurably strange to us. ”He went to the extent of salling it prose. Thus ended a great friendship of thirty-seven years in bitterness.
Noted film makers Akiro Kurosawa and Satyajit Ray were great admirers of each other's works. Kurosawa paid tributes to the human depth of Ray's films and the excellence of his cinematic talent by paying the tribute, “The quiet but deep observation, understanding and love of the human race, which are characteristic of all his films have impressed me greatly. I feel Ray is the 'giant' of the movie industry. Not to have seen the cinema of Ray means existing in the world without seeing the sun or the moon”. Their friendship prospered to their last days.
Friendship is the mark of goodwill. Good friends are good couches where one can settle down comfortably. Without this ease and assurance friendship cannot go far. In good friends the abundance of this good feeling acts like a commitment. This can be a precious gift in life. In good times and in bad times good friends stand together and go a long way. They are friends forever. For good friends, life is so beautiful!
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