Reluctant Patients

Most people dread going to the hospital. Except for hypochondriacs, medical officers or people who visit fancy hospitals out of sheer boredom.
This is because we hate to admit that our state-of-the art machinery that is called the human body, is not functioning as well as it's supposed to. We want to deny the inevitability of death and the big hole in our pockets left by exorbitant medical costs. There are however, other reasons to find medical care, intimidating.
Going to a doctor who is highly reputed, for instance, can be quite trying. You may get an appointment after three months by which time you may actually forget what the ailment was. In the event that you are lucky enough to get a decent serial number (if it's 45 just give up this wild goose chase) you may end up in the doctor's chamber with four other patients. This is the 'conveyer belt' consultation during which you will spend barely half a minute with the doctor (after three hours of waiting) while he probes and prods in full view of the other patients before you are whisked away to make way for the next person in line. Imagine going to a famous gynecologist or hemorrhoid specialist. Not a happy experience, that is.
There are exceptions. There are, most certainly, incredibly competent and caring doctors too, who will explain in detail the nature of the problem and the details of the treatment. These are rare gems and if you ever find one, hold on to them for dear life. In fact send us their number.
These days hospitals are more unpredictable than ever. You may not be getting your insulin on time and your bed may remain unmade because the nurses are too busy watching a film shooting that has blocked the corridors for two whole days. Or perhaps the minister is coming for a 'surprise' visit and hence again the corridors are inaccessible to patients and medical staff for 'security reasons'.
Many people think that going to one of those five star hospitals that have marble floors and plush sofas and all those lovely yellow lights will ensure five star treatment. That is not always the case. You may have gone with a stomach ache and some dizziness but the duty doctor will put 'chest pain' on the consultation report anyway and insist that you should stay overnight 'for observation' and sent to the CCU. If you are lucky you will come out alive although with a considerable dent in your pocket.
The hotel, sorry hospital, may also give the impression of high standards by giving instructions on patient and visitor behaviour. In one of these posh hospitals visitors are not allowed to take flowers or food to the patient and cannot visit besides the visiting hours – very sensible instructions for our over-gregarious society. But the patient may be given a set of rules too. During a 'service week' promotion, pamphlets were given to patients with a set of suggestions. One of them stated that if the nurse has forgotten to give you medicine, call her and gently remind her; or if the doctor has forgotten to sanitise his hands before examining you, please gently remind him and if for some reason they marked the area to be operated on, point it out at the operation theatre, but gently please. So it is the patient's responsibility to make sure that the doctor doesn't infect the patient with dirty hands and doesn't take out the good kidney.
At times hospital stay is genuinely needed. But the service provided may make you wonder whether the management confused the hospital with a hotel. The room has air conditioning, cable with 60 channels and a nice table and sofa set. Even the food is pretty decent. The attendants and visitors are delighted with the coffee shop and comfy sofas to sleep in. But for some strange reason you are not feeling any better. It could be because the sullen nurse couldn't find a vein and kept jabbing the needle into you, it could be that you were given the wrong medication, it could be that the tests results are some other hapless victim's, hence the prognosis, treatment, medication – everything is wrong. It could be that the absentminded doctor didn't stop the steroid treatment and the overdose has emaciated your bones.
But don't worry, you can still watch high definition Star Plus.