I Hate Traffic

We interrupt your regular editorial to talk about traffic. Frankly, I hate it. Hatehatehate. My Steam username is Hatestraffic; people think it's funny. It's not funny. It's actually my middle name (you can check my birth certificate). Traffic isn't funny. If you think traffic is funny, you're part of the problem. 

I bet you're in a car right now, doing traffic. You little twerp.

This is what Oxford Dictionaries' website has to say about roads.

“A wide way leading from one place to another, especially one with a specially prepared surface which vehicles can use.”

Well that doesn't describe any of the 'roads' I've seen this year.

Oxfords' second definition better describes out roads: “A series of events or a course of action that will lead to a particular outcome” – a series of terrible choices and fiendish actions that lead to two outcomes: madness followed by premature death from boredom.

– Zoheb Hatestraffic Mashiur, sub-editor, SHOUT