Not Getting Along with Your SO's Family

No relationship is perfect and sometimes it's the 'other family' that makes things difficult. Whether it's the over-protective mom, snitching little sibling, or the scary older brother who doesn't think you're good enough, not getting along with your other half's family is tough.

The little ones may be won over with candy, the older brother may be won over with respect but the parents are trickier. Sometimes the whole extended family, including that great aunt who lives halfway across the world, will catch a whiff of your relationship and may be against it for some reason. 

You might think the girl's parents are usually overprotective, impossible-to-impress monsters while the guy's parents are more "chill," but you really shouldn't stereotype. I've seen men's parents freak out about their possibly-maybe-future daughter-in-laws for no good reason. The moms tend to do this more than the dads (okay, maybe it's alright to stereotype here). This doesn't mean your boyfriend's mom will definitely be a monster-in-law or even if you get off on the wrong foot that she'll never warm up to you. Remember, the parents are just doing their job.

Love at first sight just may exist for you and your partner but not necessarily their family. There's usually this period of denial where the mom has to come to terms with the fact that her little baby is actually all grown up (kind of) and dating someone. So it's harder if you're their first. This is why first impressions are important, if you're being invited over to their place for a formal introduction - be polite, try not to be nervous and just be yourself. Dress in a way you think the parents will approve of, because your clothes are at the top of the list of what will be analysed, your home district is there too but you can't really change that. Be prepared to answer questions about your education and future ambitions. "I haven't figured it out yet" is never a good answer, something my SO learned the hard way.

If you sense disapproval from the 'other family' know that you're not the only one suffering. Your SO is probably constantly convincing their family why you're perfect while simultaneously worrying about how you're taking all of it. Let him/her know that this won't scare you off and you're determined to win them over or at least try to do so. Avoid things that the family disapproves of – being clingy, or staying out very late with your guy/girl are obvious no-nos. Basically, don't be a jerk because the family "hating/not liking you" is often because they don't know you yet and are just being cautious. Show them you're not the monster they think you are. Your SO chose you and they should respect his/her choice eventually. Don't badmouth the family, especially not to your SO, it never helps. If it's a certain occurrence or misunderstanding that is causing the rift, attempt to clear it out, otherwise the reservations may last for years to come.

This is just another obstacle in your relationship and with your patience and your SO's support, they just may become a second family to look forward to.