Why I Hate Phone Calls

This seems like such a first world problem: I am important enough that people call me, but hey, I absolutely hate it. The problem however is real. The ones who dread phone conversations like I do will know what I'm talking about. It has nothing to do with how much you hate or love the person on the other side. It's just the communication medium that makes one so terrified. 

There's something so unsettling about hearing a faceless person breathe. No, really. It gets even more awful when you had said something, the other person has replied, and before you both can talk about something new there's a pause of at least five seconds and that's when the breathing intensifies so you desperately wrack your brain for a topic but you blank out. 

When on a phone call, you are not quite sure when to hang up or worse, how to hang up. The caller might be telling you a funny story which is really no fun so you want to go catch up on some cat videos instead but don't want to come off as mean. With texting, it's a lot easier. You can say something's come up and that you'll be right back but never come back really. Oh, some crying emojis later will do the saving for you. 

Fillers are a great issue when on a call. There's no LOL to spare you from making the effort. If you hear a joke, you must laugh or face the consequences. No stickers either to act as fillers when you run out of a reaction or meaningful things to say. The only kind of filler I know during a phone conversation is breathing. And some more breathing. 

I love face-to-face interactions. So, it's not like I hold my socially awkward self responsible for trying to avoid calls. It's just that, with a face-to face interaction there's so much you can do. If all else fails, you can poke the person next to you or can judge passersby together. It's also somewhat true with texting. You can totally depend on memes to do the talking. I introduced my grandmother to WhatsApp and now we're on a roll. 

There are situations when a phone call is necessary. It might be work related and you don't have a choice which is okay because you are discussing some specific issue hence there's not much of an awkward silence. There are situations though when you must come to a compromise. A friend returned from the US recently so I called her up, said I'd love to meet, and then headed to a class. This was done in less than three minutes. We later decided on the details over text. The method is something I found on the internet and tested on self; this works well when the person on the other end is important and expects you to make some extra effort.

Dyuty Auronee is an occasional fusspot who loves her tea and authori-tea. Reach her at dyuty.r@gmail.com