Unstitching the Seams of Life

Maria Chaudhuri

What if? What if I hadn't been married off before I completed my education? What if I moved away from the cloisters of society and family to begin a life that was just mine? What if I took the reins of my life in my own hands instead of letting others take my decisions for me?

Life is crammed with such moments where we question our choices, blaming all and sundry for the messiness, or pretending to be content with the monotony. Everything will go on the way it is meant to. Just accept it and move on. But some among us are resistant to this placid acceptance of life. They crave for the freedom to experiment, to experience life for themselves, trying to evade the eyes of an invasive culture.  

Even as a young woman still in school, Maria Chaudhuri harboured dreams of running away from a society that alternated between ignoring her and dictating the “correct” way of living. Her father was more interested in his religion than in her, and her mother preferred to stay aloof, bitter with unfulfilled dreams and a volatile marriage. Resistant to the so-called norms of society, and determined to live life on her own terms, Maria grabs the opportunity to live the American dream when she is offered a place at the Mount Holyoke College in Massachussets.
Maria Chaudhuri's debut book, her memoir 'Beloved Strangers', is thus a story of growing up in a suffocating yet familiar world of a didactic culture, and growing away in a society that seems to grant her the freedom she so craves for and yet, is quick to misunderstand her for being different, a brown stranger in a white man's land.
Chaudhuri, who grew up in Dhaka, has had essays, short stories and other features published in several magazines, including articles in the literary journal Bengal Lights, which garnered her international attention. The Star Magazine spoke to the writer whose debut book was published in 2014 by Bloomsbury Circus, an international publishing house, and is being distributed in Bangladesh by Bengal Lights Books.

Why did you chose to write an autobiography - usually people write autobiographies when they are at a later stage in life so why did you decide to do this now?
I think there can be some subtle differences between a pure, fact-laden autobiography which chronicles one's life from beginning to end in an orderly fashion versus a memoir which is a collection of memories typically covering a shorter span of time in the author's life and usually only focusing on one or two aspects of it. And memories, as one knows, change with time, they become more malleable, more open to interpretation. In this respect, I think it matters little what the age of the memoirist is - as long as the memories she talks about are important and poignant enough for her to address.

As a Bangladeshi writing in English, what are the challenges of getting published?
Even though I myself have been lucky enough to find an internationally well-recognized publisher, I should not be quick to say that it is easy. I think that Bangladeshis writing in English is still too small of a contingency to have a strong standing in the global literary scene. But that is changing slowly and surely.
 

When it comes to writing, it is hard to write freely - especially if you belong to a culture like ours. How did you get rid of your inhibitions and just write truthfully?
I don't think I got rid of the inhibitions or fear altogether. Rather I came to accept the fear as part of the process of writing a memoir. I think the kind of fear that stems from writing a memoir is one that has to do with the shame or embarrassment factor. What will people think? Will they ever look at you the same way? And then you realize that as long as you're true to yourself and your story, nothing else really matters. The truth is bigger than all of us.

When is the best time for you to write? What is your writing regime like?
I write best in the mornings and when I'm all alone. So that's what I try to do. If I'm under deadline I write all the time - I get a bit manic to be honest. But on a regular basis, I try to stick to a morning writing schedule of 3-4 hours a day and 1-2 hours in the afternoon.

Which writers have had the most impact on you, on your writing and in the way you look at life?
Vivian Gornick - a memoirist and a writer of both fiction and nonfiction has greatly inspired me with the deadpan honesty in her writing. Bia Lowe, also a writer of nonfiction is one that I admire endlessly for the poetry and lyricism of her style. Lowe is a perfect example of the broad scope and breadth of nonfiction and how it can be every bit as exciting and imaginative as fiction.
Maria Chaudhuri's 'Beloved Strangers' is available at major bookstores around Dhaka, including The Bookworm, Omni Books, Boi Bichitra, and other outlets such as Meena Bazaar, Jatra, Aranya and Red Shift Coffee Lounge for Tk 665.