Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a 24-year-old Muslim boy. I am in love with my best friend and colleague who is a Hindu girl. She is also a year older than me. I want to live the rest of my life with her but she is much more practical than that. She says that she loves me but only as a friend, adding that she would have married me if I were also a Hindu. Recently, I heard that she was going to get married soon. I work at the same office as her and this makes it even more difficult. I am madly in love with her and can't forget her for a single moment. What should I do?

Helpless
Dear Helpless,
It seems she is not as much in love with you as you are with her. If she has decided to get married then there is little you can do. This means she has taken a decision that she believes is best for her. I understand it must be very hard for you being in the same office, but this is a test of your character and your strength to come out of a crisis situation and prevail. You must distract yourself with other friends, hobbies and activities. Don't waste your time for something you will not get, who knows, as they say whatever happens is for the best.

Dear Mita,
I am a 28-year-old school teacher. I am in a relationship with an honest, educated and beautiful girl. I love her very much and so does she. Both our families know about this relationship. But the problem is that she can never be a mother. I knew this from the beginning but no one in my family knows about this. Should I hide it from my family or let them know? I don't have any issue regarding this, as I truly love her but I'm worried about my family's reaction. What should I do?

Baffled
Dear Baffled,
If this is not an issue with you then it should not be anyone else's business. There is no need to tell your family now. They will come to know about it someday. Moreover, science has made great strides and who knows? A wonderful option does exist for childless couples, which is adoption. But you will come to that later. Right now enjoy your relationship, it is a rare privilege to find a true life partner, so just count your blessings.
Dear Mita,
I have been married for eight years now, and my husband is very loving and understanding. We have two young boys who adore their father. But the problem is that my husband works long hours at work and does not seem to find time to spend with his family. Even during the weekend, he is swamped with calls or we are left waiting at a restaurant while he attends to text messages and e-mails. I have once spoken to him earlier about this, and he said that he'll work on it but nothing's changed. How can I explain to him that his family needs him as much if not more than his job?

Tired
Dear Tired,
This is a common problem among young couples where they have difficulty balancing work and family time. You will have to be very patient and keep on insisting at the same time that he has to fix priorities. Perhaps it is that time in his life when he just needs to give more time to his work. However, it cannot be an excuse to ignore his family. The best you can do is keep the communications channels open. Talk about it without nagging, plan interesting outings with family or just by yourselves. Perhaps you need some excitement in your lives. Take a holiday to some exciting destination, you never know he might return a changed person.