Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a 21-year-old girl in a relationship with a guy for over a year now. In the beginning he was very devoted to me. But recently he has been ignoring me. He doesn't reply to my texts, and is reluctant to meet or even speak over the phone. He seems to find time for everyone but me. I keep pressuring him, asking him to tell me what was going on and at one point he confessed that he NEVER loved me for real. He proposed to me and begged me to be with him because in his words, I was exactly the kind of girl he wanted to marry. I am a good student with a bright future and am also artistic minded. Marrying me would be good for his social status as he could brag about his “perfect” partner to his friends. I guess any sane person would jump right out of a relationship at this point but I decided to stay and try to make him love me. Although I am still trying to fix things with him, at times I feel as if I am wasting my time. Is it even possible to make someone love you? If it is can you tell me how I can accomplish this? I really need some expert advice and you are the only one whom I could confide to without feeling embarrassed. Please help me or I might end up suffering for my whole life.
Madly in Love
Dear In-Love,
No, you cannot make a person love you. Harsh as it might sound, that is the truth. From your description of this young man, please take it from me, he is not worthy of your love. He is insincere and a social climber. It is great that this has happened now rather than later. You are only 21 and have your wonderful life in front of you. There is so much to do, learn and accomplish. Please don't waste your time and energy on this loser. You must cut off this relationship now before it causes you more pain and anguish. Get him out of your system and concentrate on your studies, future career, friends etc. I promise, wonderful things await you; just give yourself the chance to find them.

Dear Mita,
I am a 29-year-old single woman. I am attracted to a male colleague who joined our office around three months back. He seems really nice and we share a great rapport. He seems to like me but I am not entirely sure about that. My friends keep telling me to take the initiative and just ask him for a date but I am worried that I might end up looking stupid. I mean, shouldn't men be the ones to take the first step? I don't want to look foolish or scare him away, so please help!
Falling in Love
Dear in Love,
Yes, usually men do take the first step given our male dominated society. However, there is no harm in finding out if he is interested to spend time with you alone. You can start by giving hints and see if he will take it. Talk about a good book that you have read and want to talk about, or a good coffee place that has just opened and would be fun to explore. Don't worry, you will not look foolish if you do it in a clever way.