Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am working at a state owned bank. Nowadays I find my work very monotonous and mundane. After working for four years in the same bank, I am now thinking of switching to a new workplace. But I think I need a business degree from a reputed institution to help me get a better job. However, I am not being able to take proper preparations because of tremendous workload. After toiling all day, I feel very tired and can't concentrate on my studies. I even have a wife and a daughter whom need to give some time as well. I had applied to a university to continue my masters but the authorities concerned rejected my application to give me some time off to pursue higher education. I am thinking of quitting this job to concentrate on my studies but am not sure about what to do, as I have a family to take care of. Please help me.
In a Dilemma

Dear Dilemma,
People often get stuck in jobs that they don't like or find boring. My first advice is not to do anything in a hurry. You already have a job, take your time to find another one, and please do not leave the present one before you find a suitable one. As you mentioned, you have a wife and child.  Once your child is a little older, your wife can also think of contributing to family expenses. Regarding higher studies, if you put your mind to it and try harder you will be able to find time. Other people have done it and there is no reason why you should not.

 Dear Mita,
I am a 23-year-old girl and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for the last 4 years. We were good friends and used to chat for long hours and would always help each other in our studies. I had known him for a year before we started dating, as he was my classmate. My parents were unaware of our relationship but my boyfriend had told a family member about us, and had even showed the person my pictures on Facebook. After two years of a serious relationship, my boyfriend shocked me by stating that his parents did not like me as they didn't think I was beautiful enough and didn't belong to the same district as him. He further asserted that he couldn't go against his parents' wishes. I tried to convince him otherwise but to no avail. My parents did not like him much either, but I thought I could work on that after we both graduated from the university. Even now when I remember of that I feel terrible. I had become ill and very weak after this, and this prompted my boyfriend to return to me but with the condition that there is very little chance of our wedding taking place. As I love him a lot, I agreed to do this but time is running out of my hand, as this is the last year of our university, and I still see no hope from him. I want to live the rest of my life with him but I am confused as to what is right and what is wrong. Should I leave him and bear the pain alone or should I keep trying to convince him?
Helpless

Dear Helpless,
If you call yourself helpless then you will always feel helpless.  Please get out of this self pity and stand up for your dignity. Your self respect should not allow you to be treated in this way. If he has allowed his parents to reject you because they think you are not beautiful enough then he really does not deserve you. My serious advice is to get out of this relationship as soon as you can because it has no future. He is certainly not taking this as a long term commitment, so why should you? There is no scope for confusion. He does not love you the way you love him and has given you enough signal that he wants out. Love cannot be forced on anyone. He has for some reason lost interest and is finding lame excuses. Please do not demean yourself any further. I promise you, wonderful things await you in future, but only of you let go of this one.