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Dear Mita,
I am a 16-year-old girl. I will be taking my O-levels next year. I am having a relationship with one of my childhood friends. One month ago, my sister-in-law saw one of our photographs on Facebook , and she told my parents everything. They trusted me a lot and knew that I would never get involved in these things, as I've always been a serious student. My mother used to drop me off at my coaching centre previously, but now as she doesn't trust me, she stays there till the end of my class. This breaks my heart as I feel like I will never regain her trust. I discussed this situation with my boyfriend, and we agreed that we will maintain a distant relationship but wouldn't break up just like that. I aim to be a pharmacist while his goal is to become a software engineer. We both are very serious about our studies and future, and we've decided that everything will turn out fine over time. However, I sometimes fear that we might not be able to make our way out of this situation together. I've also been depressed since the incident and haven't been able to concentrate on my studies. Please tell me how I can calm my heart and mind.
Depressed

Dear Depressed,
Parents feel very disappointed when their trust is broken. It is natural for your mother to feel betrayed. On the other hand, she needs to be flexible as children do make mistakes and parents have to allow them to learn from those mistakes. Your decision to keep in touch but in a distant way is wise. First, you both are young to get entangled in any serious life long relationship from now. Transiting from adolescence to adulthood is a huge jump. As you grow and mature, your thoughts, thinking, belief etc will change and mature. This is not the age to get tied down but rather to be free to explore, seek, learn before you finally make up your mind about a life partner. Regarding your mother, try to earn her trust, I am confident she will understand and come around.

Dear Mita,
I am a 15-year-old O-level candidate for 2015. I am very worried about a friend. She's dating a guy two years older. She's blindly in love and doesn't pay heed to logic. He's not from an affluent family and studies at an inferior institute. She's a good student and has a bright future, but I'm sure that this guy is wasting away his time. They met on Facebook and started dating after two months, now, for 11 months. They got physically involved and now, my friend is so in love that she has decided to save cash and elope, knowing that her parents will never accept him. They even plan to get married when she turns 18. Talking to her parents about this would be foolish, as I know that her mother is not understanding. She beats her black and blue over small things, but never guides her in the right direction. I don't really blame her for dating a guy she found on Facebook, as she needed someone to talk to. (At one point she was so depressed that she cut herself). I've tried talking to her several times about how this guy is unsuitable for her but she says that she “doesn't need luxury” and only needs to feel loved and needed. If her mother gets to know about this, she'll behave extremely badly with her, thus leading her to go ahead with her plans to elope. What should I do? How can I convince her that even though she might think that this is a perfect relationship, there's little chance of this lasting?
Worried

Dear Worried,
I can understand your concern about this friend. This is not about inferior-superior, rich-poor etc. It is about taking the right decision at the right time. I am sorry to say but your friend is heading for disaster and should be stopped at all cost. It is very unfortunate that her family situation is so dysfunctional. Whatever the case, she cannot ruin her life on such an impulsive decision. She needs to talk to a counsellor immediately and you should help her see one. Talk to her aunt, cousin, anybody older and sympathetic who will talk some sense into her. Keeping this to yourself is too much of a burden on you. This is a serious matter and therefore you need to consult others before some disaster occurs. Most importantly, under no circumstances should she elope with him.