Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a 15-year-old girl. I recently learned that my mother is in an extra-marital affair with a divorcé, whose two children live with him. He has an excellent family background. He talks to me and understands me, just like a friend. I talked to my mom about this. She laughed it off, saying that it was all in good fun. I didn't believe her but didn't want to talk about it any further because I respect her and know that her life's been difficult. She was married off when she was only 17 even though she wanted to complete her studies. She fought all odds, studied and established herself as a singer against her conservative in-laws. She's emotional and artistic. My dad never shows his feelings and avoids art. But my dad loves her and gives her anything she wants without asking any questions. They fought a lot when I was younger but the situation is better now. I know what she's doing is not right but I also don't know how I should react. What should I do?
Disturbed

Dear Disturbed,
This is a difficult situation for someone as young as you. Frankly there is little you can do about this. It is also not in your place to judge your mother or decide whether she is doing the right or wrong thing. Relationships between married couples are complex and outsiders cannot understand its intricacies. I do appreciate the maturity with which you are handling the situation especially at your age. As you grow older, you will understand that getting material things does not satisfy a person's urge for emotional and psychological support. Your mother is obviously not getting that in her marriage and is therefore seeking it elsewhere. However, she might not have the courage to leave your father as this marriage gives her security and of course she has you. Therefore, I suggest that you stay away from this as much as possible and continue to support both your parents as much as you can.

Dear Mita,
I am a final year student of the Department of Public Administration, Dhaka. I wanted to be a civil servant ever since I started thinking about my career choices. Unfortunately, I cannot take my BCS exams for another two years. I stood third in my department and my CGPA is really good. I want to get a job as soon as I graduate. But I really wanted to take the BCS and try for the civil services. Please advice.
Don't Know What to Do

Dear Don't Know,
I don't know how to advise but why can't you sit for the BCS after 2 years? It does not matter if you get a job now and then take the exam when it is time. I think the only restriction is of age. You can give the exam after a gap, but please do consult someone who has already taken this exam. I don't think this is such a great problem. If you are determined you will certainly find a way to do it.