Alternative uses for Products

Think you know how to use your products? Well think again. Unreasonable shopping decisions and false advertising can lead to denial, anger and devastation after a purchase. Fortunately, most products have multiple purposes - some of which most people have been oblivious to for too long. Say goodbye to the bitterness of wasting money on the wrong decision, now you can make it the right decision simply by using it differently. Here are some of the most convenient uses for products most people instantly regret buying.

Men's Body Spray/Mosquito Repellant
You feel cheated. Girls did not close their eyes, inhale, and go “aaaah”; they didn't even turn their heads and seductively smile at you. You're not the only one who has bought this product in hopes of finally receiving unlimited attention from the ladies. No worries, you can also use this product for other lifesaving purposes this dengue-infested winter. Mosquitoes are now officially death-proof but the cloying smell of musk on your skin will keep all blood-sucking pests at bay. Don't be stingy when applying your new mosquito repellant -- spray all areas of your body for optimum protection.

Apple Products/Social Standing Booster
Your Apple product is not water-resistant, cannot be wirelessly charged and lacks the very basic features of your old Android. You have spent your entire life-savings on it, what will you do now? Well, keep using it as a device of subterfuge: to fool people into thinking you are “classy”. You may be unhappy, unsatisfied and unable to properly utilize your iSomething, but your social standing will undoubtedly get a boost. Be sure to use a cover that is conveniently transparent around the Apple logo, and Facebook the perils of downloading iOS 8 to ensure maximum publicity.

Sunglasses/Selfie Accessory
You got yourself a new pair of snazzy sunglasses only to realise you haven't willingly went outside since 2011. The waste of money is more upsetting than your social-awkwardness. Have no fear, there's always Instagram. Your beautiful sunglasses may never be able to see the world but thanks to social media, the world can see your beautiful sunglasses. One pair of sunglasses is enough for five good selfies. If your selfie game is weak then upload them between significant time spans, from different angles with unique backgrounds each time. If you have acne on your cheeks then you can tactfully lower you sunglasses to cover them up. If you want the Inception Effect then make sure the image of you taking the selfie on your aforementioned Apple product, is visible as a reflection on the sunglasses.

Fairness Cream/Weapon of Slow Destruction
Your crush did not ask you out, you never became a celebrity, and you didn't even drastically change into a radiant white person within 7 days.  What will you do with the remainder of your fairness cream now?  Not only does this product break promises and dreams of superficial people all over the country, but it can also kill you. Yes.  Fairness creams contain mercury and a high dosage could kill you. What are you going to do with it now? Carry it in your bag at all times. Fatal fairness creams may come in handy any time.