AVIATION ETIQUETTE

We have a reputation for chasing first world dreams that were made to entice only the third world dwellers. We overcome hurdles, financial crises, limitations and somehow, at the end of the day, with a tail of loans and expectant sponsors, we find ourselves in the queues of airport check-ins with bags full of tokens from home -- tokens in the shapes of lungi and potol. And I won't say that I've flown much, but one doesn't need to fly more than twice to sum up the lack of etiquette that is evident in all kinds of people alike in the world of aviation.

There's a limit to how much you can carry. And there's no point trying to push that limit.
Tickets are expensive. Draining our pockets further is the added cost for the access to carry more weight with us. It's ok to carry a kg or two more than your limit, but don't push your luck by carrying 5 extra kgs of shutki and expect to be smiled at cordially as you push extra stinky sticks of food into the cargo because that just doesn't happen. And you will be blocking the queue while arguing for access and causing inconvenience in stepping aside and unlocking and unpacking to get rid of the extra weight which you cannot afford. Since you know what your weight limit is, it's best to arrive at the airport prepared aptly. My mind boggles over why someone would step out with extra weight and the only reason I can come up with is that the person might not just own a weight machine at home. So just manage one for your own convenience too.

Patience, child.
As soon as the signals are given for the “go”, I see crowds stampede to posts, doors and check-ins as if the airplane has started on the runway already and is leaving them with a sinister laugh and matching background music. The airplane doesn't have that satanic consciousness, don't worry. And it won't leave you behind if you're there on time. There's no need to rush and run like headless chicken in the process. There's no need to cut lines in the passport control either, or fight with the person ahead of you just because he/she took an extra half second to move ahead. There's no need to grab your belongings from the overhead bin of the plane in such a rush that you drop your 10 kg bag on his ribcage. The doors of the plane will let you out, and they won't carry you back to where you came from if you're five minutes late. So give way to the people who've taken seats in front of yours, and especially to children and older people, then walk out slowly.

Cooperate with the Cabin Crew.
The flight attendant’s job is to make the journey easier for you. If they have asked you to switch off your cellphones and electronics for everyone's safety, then just do it and don't sneak calls till the end of the runway in spite of it. They had to go through training to deal with you -- that shows how hard you are to deal with. Don't make it harder. Don't walk around when you're not supposed to, just to test their patience. You know if your flight should provide you free meals or not. Arguing and fighting for a meal to be given away for free isn't going to get you anywhere, and you can't really blame the other passengers for staring at you either. Smoking just isn't allowed, so there's no point trying it in the lavatory. And speaking of lavatories, clean up after yourself because the crew isn't paid to flush your used toilet papers for you.
We know the women are pretty, and I'm sure they had enough pick-up lines thrown at them. If you're staring at her derriere and trying to take a picture, when you don't have the courage to talk to her, then just stop. Period.
Mind your neighbours.
Being friendly is nice, but not everyone may want to make a new friend. When your flight neighbour isn't interested, just let it be. And if you're the one being pestered, then there's no need to get aggravated or spit on his food. You can ask him politely and even apologetically to leave you alone and avoid any offence.
Know where your space is and mind your neighbour's space too. Don't grab the backrest of a seat with all your might when you're standing up, and it's comfortable to recline but compromise when the person behind you is in pain or with a baby or even eating. And if you're watching a movie or video on your iPad or laptop, just keep in mind that your neighbour might not necessarily like sparkling scenes of fiery romance or excessive gore.
Happy flying.