To celebrate, not mourn

After Fahim left, I was almost lifeless in grief and pain. I used to take sleeping pills and sleep as long as I could. I thought about it a lot -- how can life go on without Fahim?

For everyone, there is a purpose to life. Some try to raise their children well, some try to do better in their professional life, and others find purpose and peace in earning more money. After Fahim left, I couldn't find anything to think about.

One fine day, I woke up and opened my emails and letters. Many used to write to me at that time, mostly young people. Some are Fahim's friends, others did not know him at all. But everyone wanted to know more about Fahim. They wanted to know so much about Fahim! That's when I decided to talk about Fahim and share his memory with everyone.

I talked to Fahim's mother. We decided, rather than mourning, we will celebrate Fahim's life -- tell the whole world what a wonderful boy he was and work to keep his dreams alive. It seemed like we had found a purpose in life.

As a first step, I decided to publish a book about Fahim, to let everyone know that my son did not just work to be a millionaire. There was a lot of joy, purpose, and big dreams behind his work.

My mental and physical condition were very bad, it was impossible for me to hold a pen and keep my composure. So I decided to publish a book in both English and Bengali with the articles that had already been published in various international newspapers and magazines.

Two write ups immediately came to my mind -- one by my eldest daughter Ruby Angela -- titled "Mourning. My Baby Brother Fahim". Millions of people had read and shared the article. Many newspapers and networks around the world reported on it. The other article is - "Fahim Saleh lit up Bangladesh's start-up scene like no other", written by Mahmudul Hasan, a journalist with Bangladesh's top English daily The Daily Star.

By then, Fahim's birthday, December 12, was approaching fast. I felt restless. I grabbed a pen and tried to write something about him after a long time.  After some initial struggle, I came up with two write ups, one of it -- "Whom would I wish happy birthday to and whom would I embrace?" -- was printed on his birthday in the popular Bengali daily Ptrothom Alo. The other piece was published in Kaler Kontho -- "Little Fahim's Economy".

As the Ekushey Book Fair was coming up, I decided to publish the first print in Bengali. But who will publish it?

This is when I remembered Mazharul Islam of Anyaprokash. Twelve years ago, my friend and renowned novelist Humayun Ahmed  introduced me to Mazhar. Humayun Ahmed himself took a manuscript of one of my books from New York to Mazhar. The book "Ghuni Nilay" was published by Anyaprokash in 2010.

I called Mazhar one night. It was difficult to speak, my physical and mental weakness and emotions were all mixed up. I don't know how much of my voice Mazhar recognised, he just said, "Send me a few pages by email. We will review and let you know if we want to pursue." I was disheartened. Still, I sent him the two articles on Fahim.

The next morning I got a call from Mazhar.  He apologised for not recognising me. He said the only thing he understood  from the phone call was that someone wanted to publish a book on Fahim Saleh.

He said he was happy that I contacted him after so many years. "Fahim Saleh is a youth icon of Bangladesh. I will definitely publish the book, and do it with pride," he said. I was relieved, grateful, and happy.

Fahim was a highly skilled web designer and artist. Each of his professional products and services have great graphics design. I gave Mazhar only one condition, that the quality of the book should be in line with Fahim's works.

Mazhar has kept his word. He published the book with a lot of care and emotion. Artist Ahmed Shamsuddoha painted a portrait of Fahim for the cover. Masum Rahman is another great artist. He worked very hard and decorated each page delightfully well. I was always delighted to see his imaginative style on the covers of Humayun Ahmed's books.

I hope everyone will love the book as soon as they get it. People will know Fahim in a new way after reading the book. Fahim was light-hearted and playful, but he had uncompromising determination in his work. He was a millionaire, but that wasn't his focus. He was just passionate about anything he found a purpose in.

There are many stories in the book about how Fahim became 'Fahim'. This is not a book for mourning his passing, but a book to celebrate his life.

**  Saleh Uddin Ahmed is the father of Fahim Saleh . His book "Fahim Saleh Shopner Karigor" came out in the Ekushey Book Fair this year