Growin' the 'stache in 20 days

Some people need to know how long it takes to grow a moustache. This is for them. I don't always keep a moustache because moustaches have stupid monologues like, "I crave to be caressed every now and again." It is annoying. Quiet, moustache! You should be seen, not heard. Don't complain. You're better off than my sister's moustache, which should be neither seen nor heard.

Day 0
Got a haircut, should shave too. Ow, ow, ow it stings. Stupid triple razor took off more than just moustache. On the positive side, my moustache area is as hairless as the scalp of a stressed white collar worker going through midlife crisis.
Day 1
Hmm, no stinging sensation. [feel moustache area] Silky smooth, silky smooth.
Day 2
If I look closely, and by closely I mean walk up to a mirror and intensify gaze, it looks like I'm 'stached, but it feels otherwise
Day 3
If I squint and look into a mirror then, depending on the lighting, it looks like 'stache. But I don't have one… yet
Day 4
I feel it, and it's there
No longer small stubs
But the smallest of hairs
Day 5
Still feels the same. Upon closer inspection I see a lot of small uniform length hair
Day 6
Doesn't look bigger but at least now it feels as big as it looks…
No, that was not an innuendo.
Day 7
I've shaved the rest of my face now so the difference is much more prominent. Looks like I have a moustache even though I don't. Lighting helps.
Day 8
I can say without doubt that I have a small moustache now. Is it a small moustache or a short moustache? I'm really asking.
Day 9
Rubbing it feels really nice. Like a carpet you would want to sleep on. Yet no GF?
Day 10
Sure, it's nice right now but nothing that'd impress the ladies. Or make the opponent throw in the towel in a fight to determine dominance.
Day 12
The moustache will look the same as it does now until it grows to the point where I can curl it.
Day 13
Feel stupid writing this after my entry yesterday but moustache has gotten noticeably bigger.
Day 15
After Day 10, I sort of lost count. All I know is that tomorrow is supposed to be either Day 15 or 16. Unlikely to be 14. My moustache is thicker and grows faster than the rest of the facial hair on my face. It looks like it's caught up to my chin-plague of a beard which had a few days head start on it.
Day 16
Area above upper lip is fully covered by vertical lines. There is nothing left to annex. Next on the moustache agenda is to solidify its rule and thicken, Thicken, THICKEN!
Day 17
I don't feel like walking up to a mirror so I'll describe it using my sense of touch. Running my hand through it feels a bit like running my hand through grass. The sensation is similar in the sense that the moustache hair moves out of the way and isn't stiff, like toothbrush bristles.
Day 18
Looking at pictures of a moustacheless me makes me want to shave. But I must be strong. Also I could have unruly hair then so it's a different matter. So the moustache is thicker now. I say that because it looks darker.
Day 19
First thing I notice today is that the edges of my moustache feel a little sticky. Am I supposed to clean them regularly like every time I brush my teeth? Do special moustache brushes exist? For those wondering, the solution to this is to wash moustache with soap.
Day 20
Okay, this is it. The result of 20 days of not shaving is… a moustache. Yes, it is indeed a moustache. But I can't curl it, not yet. And what good is a moustache that won't curl?

Now, it is time to say goodbye…
Ow, ow, ow, stupid triple razor took off more than just moustache. Will I never learn?