Why we should ask for help more often

Life is an adventure, and a challenging one at that. It can be unpredictable, difficult and sometimes scary. We often fall into tight spots that shake us to our cores, but what you need to remember is that you do not have to do it alone. You can ask for help.

It’s okay to ask

The first thing that you need to realise is that it is okay to ask for help. Usually, we do not want to ask others for help, thinking that it might inconvenience them. Or worse, what if they hate us and do not want to help? Here’s some news for you. There are numerous scientific studies that confirm that people are willing to help more than we realise. The catch is that you have to ask for it.

Maybe you think asking for help makes you seem weak. On the contrary. Asking for help takes courage. It takes the wisdom of knowing that you need assistance and you are strong enough to admit it. It confirms that you are wise enough to know your limit.

It builds a connection

There is an interesting psychological phenomenon called ‘The Ben Franklin’. It refers to the fact that a person likes someone more after doing them a favour, and they are more likely to do them another favour in the future. So, if you are looking to improve your relationship with someone, ask their advice or help. It shows that you value their insight and wisdom and admire their ability.

In addition, helping and asking for help builds loyalty. And if you reciprocate, a strong social bond is formed. Even a lone wolf needs some social bond to survive.

Respect people’s time and know your place

Yes, people are willing to help if you ask them, but you should also know your place and, more importantly, know how to ask for help properly.

Don’t be one of those people from high school who never maintained the relationship for a decade, but then one day just calls you to ask for money! You do not want to be one of those people who texts you to ask for help, but instead of getting to the point, just beats around the bush by reminiscing and asking about your private affairs for an hour before mentioning why they texted.

Respect people’s space and time, and more importantly, know the status of your relationship with the person before asking for help.

The invisible score

You have played video games, right? The more side missions you complete, the more score or reward you get, and it makes it easier to play the base game. Help is sort of like a side mission in that way. Sure, there is no official score on your HUD, but there is an invisible score going on.

The more you help people, the better you feel about yourself. Asking for help does not reduce your score; it builds a social connection; think of it like XP points. But you should be willing to help others when the chance comes because it also builds a reputation (even more XP points!) in your own social circle. If you can help someone and do not do it for no particular reason, chances are you will not get help when you need it either.

It’s not a binding contract or anything, but subconsciously, this is how social interactions work. You might think you can do it all alone; you do not need anyone, but that is simply arrogant.

Be grateful when someone helps you, and try to help others without any ulterior motive. You will be positively amazed by the rush of dopamine that comes after helping people.