Love in the Time of OBORODH

Source: Photo: Darshan Chakma

Amidst the ashes of burnt buses and CNGs, carcasses of relationships are becoming evident. Forgive me if I'm being overly dramatic, but I see hundreds of relationships disintegrating thanks to our country's current political state. Democracy is in ruins and it's dragging love down with it.
In this season of regular strikes and 'peaceful' blockades, most people -- especially the young -- can't go out of their homes because their parents and they themselves fear for their lives. And that includes those in relationships. The risk of getting torched or shot at during the hartals and oborodhs makes the relationships in Dhaka -- that are already long distance, considering the amount of time it takes to get from one point to another to meet up with each other -- even more difficult. As if dating in Dhaka wasn't geographically challenging enough, new issues have begun to arise due to the blockades:
 

Source: Photo: Darshan Chakma

Your relationship is now more virtual than ever. If you aren't one of those couples who meet online and basically express your love only through pictures photoshopped together on Facebook, you run the risk of crossing over. If you appreciate physical presence and upfront interactions, your relationship is about to take a hit.

These hartals are terrible. We live really far away and can't get out much,” says Samara (15), to which her boyfriend Mehran (15) adds, “All we do is Skype, talk on the phone, Facebook, etc. Fights are the worst, since we always relied on face-to-face confrontations when it came to dealing with them.

You're busier than ever on the days when it's safe to go out. The weekends are usually spared of oborodhs and are supposedly the time of the week when we should be with our loved ones. But the weekdays being marred by blockades make the weekends incredibly hectic days when the traffic moves at glacial pace and we have roughly 24-48 hours to get an entire week's work done. This is exhausting on its own, and when you try to juggle a date in the midst of this frenzy, it's messier than baking with your feet.
 

Mobile networks have been acting up. We don't know if it's got anything to do with the blockades but mobile networks and the internet are being uncooperative lately. This adds to the troubles of our already star-crossed (in this case, thwarted by haters of love in the form of political parties and picketers) lovers. Things really start going south when the line starts acting up while you're exchanging a few “mwahs” over the phone. (We know y'all do it. We've seen you do it.)

Out of sight, out of mind. Certain couples who can't meet or talk much due to this political instability tend to forget how much they enjoy each other's company and this may lead them to wrongly evaluating and, consequently, ending the relationship. In these dire times, your attention and interest may wane due to faulty memory and human frailty. The girl next door with the creepy obsession for turtles may start to look cuter, as you are deprived of other human interactions.
Frustrations kick in. The disruption in daily activities and the inability to get things done because of hartal/oborodh generates frustration in people who might take it out on their significant others when they have no one else to take it out on. This leads to fights and makes break-ups more violent. As the solitary confinement starts to creep under your skin and starts playing with your sanity, your petty fights become more intense with your insecurities heightened and your patience at its end.

We've been having fights for no good reason and our insecurities are baseless to the point where it's embarrassing. We realise that it's because of the gap in communication, but we can't do anything about it. It's as if we're on a break waiting for an opportunity to remind ourselves what we're like together,  says Rafat (17) who hasn't seen his partner in three weeks!

Every menacing cloud does have a proverbial silver lining though, it seems. There are those who are unrelenting and soldiering through these hard times and to you guys, we appreciate your effort. Many use the lack of traffic to travel cautiously over long distances to spend time with their loved ones. Others use the vacancy in their schedule to their advantage by having long conversations and consequently getting to know each other once again.

Onaiza Owais (19) says,   My boyfriend and I are actually getting to spend a lot more time together than we do on normal days. It feels like a long vacation that we're using to reignite the fire.

For the adrenaline junkies, this might bring up some interesting date ideas for you. Protesting and rallying together is as fun as running and ducking from cocktails. Also sneakily driving up to some rabid picketers and provoking them so that they start to chase you while you zoom off into the sunset, narrowly escaping with dear life, will create your own romantic Need For Speed feels. And ain't nothing more romantic than Need For Speed.

Nothing gets my blood rushing faster than the thought of a riot starting off right then and there and it being the end of it all. Reminds me of 'A Light That Never Goes Out' by The Smiths,  says a morbid Parosh (24) whose girlfriend is as emo as he is.

If you're trying to stay safe, keep off the streets as much as possible; especially, avoid using your cars. Take full advantage of the motor rickshaws 'cause those things are fast! Or take your street-side loving to the roof like Batman.
Relationships are nice and if you're making it work, we're happy for you. If you're not and if it's not because of the state of the country and because of the state of your appearance, get a cat. You know the drill.