Never Cleaning Out My Closet

First World Problem: Did you just throw a piece of paper on the road instead of walking two miles for a garbage can?
Third World Problem: Did you just poster my wall, spit on my driveway and then relieve yourself on my boundary wall?
There is a laughable rumour doing the rounds in the Third World that in the First World, littering can actually earn you a fine. In fact, the rumour goes on to claim that littering too often can result in a jail sentence. It must be nonsense, because growing up in the Third World, we have a very different view towards littering and being unhygienic in general. In fact, in some parts of Bangladesh, people actually are offended if their freshly painted walls aren't violated by electoral candidates or coaching centres within three weeks. Some go the extra mile and put up signs inviting people to desecrate their boundary walls. Signs such as “Eikhane prosrab korle 500 Taka jorimana” (if you relieve yourself here, you'll be fined 500 Taka) are common-place, treated as dares or even challenges. We all know there is no masked vigilante to enforce these rules and we all know it's all a joke really.
In the streets of Bangladesh, you'd be hard-found to find someone who admits to not having littered in the last six minutes. Made-up on the spot statistics show that on any given day, except Friday, Bangladeshis are prone to litter every six minutes. It can either be cigarette butts, chewing gum, paper, prepaid cards or for some strange reason, crow feathers. Bangladeshis are also known to carry gobs of banned polythene bags that they throw around just for kicks. It's a twisted game of environmental damage. Some modern citizens, consider littering to be a godsend. They pack up on cleaning gear and go about cleaning the less filthy roads and making a big deal about it. They go back feeling satisfied, having done their part, once every year. Others, known as “sweepers”, do it every morning, but hey, if you get paid for it, it doesn't count.
Again, lest we stereotype, it's prudent to know that it's not just Bangladeshis littering, most Third World dwellers do it. Somehow, the First World is probably to blame for our bad habits, but we haven't figured it out, as of yet. The Dhaka City Corporation, in charge of cleaning Dhaka, is trying hard to do its part, to be fair. The problem is, as their trucks pick up litter, they go all the way to the incinerator, leaking garbage and spreading it around the city. We chalk that up to the budget. What with all the bridge building, who can really spare a thought about cleaning up the mess? That non-biodegradable hoo-ha isn't a big deal. Stop making it an issue. We litter. It's expected decorum. Spit on our roads or go back home.

Osama Rahman is a regular columnist for Star Lifestyle, resident detective and a man's rights activist.