Relationship Status: It's Complicated

Cartoon: Rakib

Most Bangladeshi families have at least one or multiple 'mama' (maternal uncle) or 'chacha' (paternal uncle) in high places. They may be so remotely related that no one in your family remembers exactly how. But as a people, we believe in the importance of uniting relatives across distances.
These Mama Chachas are super heroes with invisible capes and special traits - they need to be a big shot: maybe a company's CEO, a multi millionaire businessman, a respected figure in the society, a neta (political leader) or a television celebrity. This is an essential resource for any Bangladeshi. It can make life smooth sailing.
Say you break a traffic law and are stopped by the sergeant. All you have to do is calmly roll down your window, and before the traffic police can say a word, demand of him instead, “Do you know who my uncle is? It is Mr So and So.”
When it comes to our professional life, be it hiring, honouring or awarding, your Uncle will come to the rescue.
A single family tree fails to demonstrate the relationship that we have with these star relatives. We need a number of complex probability diagrammes with numerous branches to determine the relationship. The only valid documentation of our relationship is probably that one picture that we had taken half a century back in another distant cousin's birthday party.
But given that we are good with numbers and logic, at the end we can establish a successful genealogical relationship, something like ‘my uncle Prabir's (maternal) sister-in-law's younger brother's wife's son- with whom we are very close’!
Unfortunately our relationship with them is mostly one sided and a bit delusional. We love to believe that they are indeed 'very close'.
They may not openly admit our closeness, but do we mind? We don't, because we take pride in them, they are our valuable family possession. Like medals we display them by dropping their names in conversations and like ammunition we use them in difficult situations. Because if you have a Mama or a Chacha of influence, nothing can bring you down.

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Cartoon: Sharier

Behind Those
       Starry Eyes

If Bangladeshi women can be praised for their magnetic eyes, the men (most of them) deserve to be admired for their outstanding power of staring. Most Bangladeshi men are professionals when it comes to this national sport of ogling.
The ability to gape and gawk at a woman shamelessly is something most Bangladeshi men have mastered and it transcends all socio economic groups and ages. Be it a posh restaurant, a busy road, inside your car or a crowded bus – there is no escaping the roving eye!
There are many ways that men practice their ogling skills. Sometimes they stare with their eyes almost popping out with amazement. Sometimes they squint at you while you are fixing your hair or lipstick. Their eyes follow you when you walk past them. They gawk. They gape.
When they are in a hurry and do not have enough time to gape, they will make sure to catch a glimpse of the women passing by.
When they are in rickshaw and have the time to gape at a women walking by, they will make sure to rotate their heads and bend their bodies to an angle of 70 degrees so that they can watch her until she completely fades away from sight.
A glimpse in a split second gives them a sense of accomplishment. It makes their life meaningful and fulfils their day's quota of entertainment. They applaud themselves in their mind a thousand times for their skill of staring at women without blinking for hours. It's like adding numbers to their secret list of how-many-women-I-have-checked out-today.
As for the women who are the privileged subjects of such attention, it does not matter that they may feel uncomfortable under such intense gazes, that they may bring out murderous thoughts towards their gaper. It really doesn't matter what a female thinks or feels. As long as she is in sight, it is the beholder's prerogative to stare, stare and stare.