THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE

ARIES
Surrounded by lead, smoke and fire, I rose. My room's a mess.

TAURUS
I forgot to pack my colour pencils. And my markers.

GEMINI
But that's okay because I didn't pack my whiteboard either.

CENCER
What's not okay is that I didn't pack my whiteboard.

LEO
I recently wrote on my whiteboard using permanent marker.

VIRGO
Nowhere on the marker does it say that it is permanent!

LIBRA
Trusting someone is a good way to blackmail them, I've learnt.

SCORPIO
Wow, don't get me started on blackmail. For one, I can't.

SAGITTARIUS
I mean, I tried. I was specifically asked to. But I couldn't.

CAPRICON
But then later on, I did blackmail someone without realising it.

AQUARIUS
Do you realise with an 's' or realize with a 'z'? In UK I mean.

PISCES
My guitar gently weeps. Because I abuse it while wearing crocs.