THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE

ARIES
Winter has come. Beware.

TAURUS
Santa, don't put on RED this year.

GEMINI
Best time to get married.

CENCER
The more spicy you become the more you get HOT.

LEO
Wake up, this is not Narnia. Start learning Bangla. 

VIRGO
Take a job at nearby beauty parlour.

LIBRA
Wearing pencil heel on one foot and a slipper on another will bring no balance in your life.

SCORPIO
69% possibility of getting poked by a Sagittarius.

SAGITTARIUS
Getting married to a Scorpio will bring you 96% success.

CAPRICON
Start sharpening your horn, Satan is standing just behind Santa.

AQUARIUS
We need more hot water for shower.

PISCES
Find a new girl.