This Week's Horrorscope

ARIES
A water bottle today will grow into a water tank tomorrow. 

TAURUS
Tissue papers evolve into towels.  

GEMINI
Watches evolve into grandfather clocks. 

CANCER
I cry when you decide to pry. 

LEO
Magnificent cat, some day you will turn into a tiger.

VIRGO
Dear tyre, one day you will become a stadium.

LIBRA
Bees evolve into giant killer machines. 

SCORPIO
You will evolve into a gigantic...disappointment. 

SAGITTARIUS
Turn your fork into a trident. 

CAPRICORN
The small elephant will become a big elephant. 

AQUARIUS
Can we break hair instead of breaking our hearts?

PISCES
Keep your knives to yourself.