SHOULD YOU STEER CLEAR OF AN INTIMIDATING PERSON?

Sometimes, I meet people who simply make me feel uneasy and on the edge. It's not because of their appearance or something mean they're saying, but mostly because of their attitude and the energy that they give off. These people just have a way – they're super intimidating!

Psychologists say people who are aggressive, judgmental, rude or just seem to be fake – common traits of an intimidating person – usually have a reason for being the way they are. Rather than taking the behaviour personally, research says we should look for the underlying reasons. So you should give them the benefit of the doubt and keep the things listed below on your mind when dealing with an intimidating person. 

They're just like you and me
People you find hard to talk to – who come across as rude – have a back story too. We should not judge a book by its cover, remember? When you meet such a person and they shut you down with an unenthusiastic reply to your friendly approach, there isn't much you can do about it. If, even after a couple of tries, they act the same, leave it at that. It doesn't mean you get to judge them and disregard the slight chances of actually liking them. Just try again later. 

They're not smarter and you're not dumber
It is true, intimidating people make you feel dumb but *news flash* it doesn't mean you actually are. It's just their confidence level, which is a 13 on a scale of 1 to 10. These people seem to know how the mind of the person in front of them works, so they try to talk in such a way that they seem superior to you. Being the dominant one gives them some sort of pleasure. Yes, that's sad, but bear in mind, they may not be bullies. 

Do not worry or overthink
What they are saying or doing should not be taken personally. Things coming out of their mouth probably don't sound as horrific in their head, but sometimes when it's out in the air, they have an overwhelming effect. They're very good at hiding their expressions and FEELINGS, so you'll never really know. Once you get to know them, and you get to break their wall, you'll know how they are wired. Until then, don't waste your time analysing the little things they say to you. 

Be assertive
Assert your stance. If you are not self-assured and firm, it becomes easy for the intimidating person to dominate you even more. It's almost as if they prey on the weak ones, the ones who give in to their control and mastery. So just try and maintain eye contact with them. This will show them that you are not cowering and if they pick this up, you may even be on friendly terms. 

Faria Khan is an ambivert who truly believes in the divine power of music. Give her a piece of your mind at fariaa.964@gmail.com