The Chain Status Epidemic

“Like my status and I'll inbox you a person's name. Comment about that person below without mentioning the person's name.”

Ring any bells? Don't be ridiculous of course it does. Don't expect me to believe something like this did not come across while you were on your routine homepage patrolling.
Nowadays, people take Facebook more seriously than real life. They judge a person based on what he/she does with their Facebook profile, and not to mention the person with the most random likes on photos seems to have the highest social status. That aside, due to the inbox's somewhat private nature, the chain status mentioned above gained popularity very quick. Why would anyone post such a thing, you ask? Well, I bet most of you posted it too, so let me rephrase that question for you, “What made you post that status?”

Hell, if I knew. You probably did it to fit in with all the cool Facebook profiles that are doing the same. Being the attention seeker that you are, some of you even purposely messaged your own names so that you could get cheesy compliments from some “Ðjùîçê Pølá Søkibul” or that pretty girl called “PøíśøȵStunnerx Ěmø” whom you are always busy stalking.
As if that wasn't enough, you cleverly message your social nemesis' names to handpicked people who are likely to comment sh*t about them. Let us all have a moment of silence for that utterly disappointing moment when you see that those carefully chosen people have only good things to say about your enemies. Funny how new people just got added to your hitlist, aye?
Come to think about it, if you really had to know what others think of you, or what others think of others, you could, you know, just ask them directly. That works too, right?
“I wish Obama could run for a third term.”
This is about as retarded as it gets. At first glance, it might seem that the person who updated this status got a Green Card by simply sitting on Facebook 24/7. At a second glance, you begin to realise that the person who posted the aforementioned status might be slightly intellectually challenged. What's the actual story behind turning Obama into a dictator?
It's a chain status. A bad one at that. If you “like” the status, the person posting it will message you, giving you a list of status updates from which you will select one and post it on your profile. What is the point of this, you ask? We might as well look for ancient Egyptian symbols in a Call of Duty game.