Word on the Streets of Gamchhaland

The elections are knocking on the doors in Gamchhaland, and the air should be heavy with anticipation but it's not, because people are mostly in hiding to save their lives from pre-election tension. While most are too busy making memes on the beloved candidates' eloquence and choice of words at expressing their respective opinions, many are still following the scene and the processions with sincerity.
“Politics is no funny business; you cannot take care of the country by simply pulling money out of your lungi and throwing it on the general public when your jokes can't keep them happy any more,” said an angry Mr. Laal Badshah Mocha, a 52-year-old banana trader working closely with the agriculture sector, when he was asked for his opinion on the ruling Troll Party and the success of its term.
Statistics from Le Big Mouth (LBM), Gamchhaland's 'most credible' research centre dedicated to its politics and social trends and movements, show that about 73 percent of the adult (18 and above) population is largely unsatisfied by the Troll Party's performance.
“I just don't feel anything revolutionary happening even as the term has reached its climax now and that's sad because they did promise us a lot during the last elections,” said Kinkesh Chodri, a 20-year-old university student.
About 60 percent of the people want the tigers to remain in their natural habitat and believe that the Troll Party should be making more efforts so that the beasts can reproduce and grow their dwindling population. While they do acknowledge and appreciate the Troll Party's success at raising the nation's GDP and bringing in more outlets of famed brands and international chains of restaurants and coffee shops, many (especially high school students who advocate volunteerism) believe that the gap between the rich and the poor has only widened.
There's always a sinking feeling in my gut every time I go to Glorious Pretentious Tong for a cup of latte after a day of volunteerism, playing with dirty street children. And I don't think it's the 500 stoka worth latte that does that,” says 16-year-old Trishna Jaam, who identifies herself as a volunteer from the popular NGO, '60 Degrees West'.
While Mr. Troll's manifesto does include resolutions for the progress of beggars, Mr. Kuddus Dudu, claiming to be the most famous beggar in Nekra Thana, thinks that the aforementioned candidate is only making false promises like the last time and will do nothing but laugh these concerns off in the future if he gets elected again.
“We were promised cheaper rates on satellite connections and more stores dedicated to selling second-hand branded apparel. Do you see me wearing an old, stained Calvin Klein underwear now? I'm still wearing a pair of pants with a torn zipper from New Mall! Where are the shops you promised, Troll?!” -- asked an aggravated Mr. Dudu.
Keeping all of the failures and problems in mind, the people want a new hero in a shining armour to march the glorious nation of Gamchhaland to a future full of more glory. But they find themselves devoid of options.  App. 93 percent of the population stated that they would rather not vote at all than vote for any of the 3 major parties: The Troll Party (TTP), Murdorar's The Moon Democratic (TMD), and Le Blue's Freed Slaves Union (FSU).
“Who else am I to vote for? The pretentious patriot Troll or Murdorar, who still lives in the past? Don't even remind me of that big-mouthed ungodly Blue thing!” -- said 40-year-old Shobuj Mokhles.
But over half of the population (54 percent) whose incomes fall in the lowest range of per capita income think that Le Blue might really be the answer to their prayers, even if the candidate may not believe in prayers.

“We've suffered too long and too hard. There's so much waste collected in our lives and homes now, and we pray that life's muscular grasps would ease on us to let this waste be pushed out and rot in the drains! But we have no drains! Our slums get more and more crowded but not bigger! My 10 children don't even have enough to eat!” -- said 39-year-old Sokina Kanchon, a dweller of the Rana Bosti and the widow of the late worker, Shukna Jamil.
Freed Slaves Union's ideologies and promises give hope to the poorer demographics, but the smaller percentage of the population that seems to hold the maximum influence on this nation's economy (20 percent) believe that Le Blue's manifesto is only a fairy tale that will make the working sector complacent and pull down the overall growth of the nation.

“Who are we kidding? Troll has only steered this nation towards progress and a dynamic economic exchange with the world. Murdorar and Blue are only going to pull us back from the global stage and lock us down in inactivity. Truth is that our indigenous resources are nice only to the pink people and we have a taste for the better things from outside our borders. You'll find all the proof you want on the internet and the Book of Face,” said 55-year-old Kopa Shamsu, Gamchhaland's richest industrialist, who had made it to Moment's list of the World's 100 Most Influential People earlier this year.
The tension becomes more and more palpable as the election date approaches nearer, and it's hard to say what the outcomes may be. Gamchhaland is a nation full of diverse cultures and opinions. And the closest one can get to a prediction now are the following numbers: 45 percent think that FSU will win and save the nation, while 50 percent think that TTP will remain in power, and the remaining 5 percent think that TMD still has a chance to shine over and win the polls.
Long live Gamchhaland.

Disclaimer: All statistics have been collected from Le Big Mouth's nationwide survey conducted in October 2013.