GETTING YOU INTO DOTA 2

MOBA. ARTS. Hero Brawler. Wizard-em-up.  Whatever label you choose to slap on them, games like League of Legends, Dota 2 and Smite are the hottest thing going right now. Of the lot, Dota has always had a reputation for being the most complex and least transparent - indeed, if you told IceFrog that a lot of the stuff in his game doesn't actually make sense he'd be flattered that you'd noticed. Valve has done a remarkable job of integrating information about the game into the actual client: in-game guides are a brilliant feature and the tutorials are the best yet to be seen on the genre. But they barely scratch the surface. To actually function on Dota 2, you need to know more than what the game tells you. Luckily the community has, over the decade, created a huge wealth of resources to help you land on your feet - only to have Rubick cliff you.
This article will contain links for our online readers' benefit. Print readers will likely have to consult Google-senpai.

LEARNING THE GAME
The best crash course on Dota is Purge's “Welcome to Dota, You Suck.” He gives some of the best advice a new player can get, familiarising you with the game's basics. Take heed of the heroes he discourages new players from picking: though his recommendations for heroes to try should be taken with a grain of salt (Chaos Knight?). Purgegamers.com also includes Youtube links to Purge Plays: a series where Purge comments on an example game using a particular hero. He explains his decisions through the game and most importantly acknowledges his mistakes: he's not the most charismatic tutor, but he's conscientious. I recommend looking at them after you've seen the rest of the stuff I'm linking.
Purge's guide: http://bit.ly/1bJkXHr
Purge Plays: http://bit.ly/178QJ0k
For a lengthier, cut-and-dry explanation of game elements and mechanics there is Devilesk's Comprehensive Dota 2 Guide. Suitable for both complete beginners and more advanced players, and contains helpful links of its own.
Comprehensive Dota 2 Guide: http://bit.ly/14jOruk
Yet another crash course, this time in video form and lasting 6 minutes: Pracy's “Dota 2: How Not to Suck - A Noob's Guide.” It's remarkable just how much information is summarised by Pracy, and the video format lets him show off concepts that the written guides really can't - such as the two ways to last-hit.
Pracy's guide: http://bit.ly/1HnCxxj
And lastly, VideoGamerTV on Youtube has a rather splendid Dota 2 Academy playlist. Spanning 17 videos, you have your introductory overview and individual videos explaining key concepts such as warding and runes. Pay special note to “Heroes Noobs Shouldn't Play,” as this list is not identical to Purge's but arguably just as valid (as anyone who has had a bad Faceless Void on their team can attest). Ideal if you respond well to advice from British people.
Dota 2 Academy: http://bit.ly/1xjd5pT

INDIVIDUAL HEROES
No matter how much you know about game concepts, at the end of the day this is a game about heroes fighting with and against one another. You have to know what your hero can do and why did that bird turn into an egg I'd better kill it OHMYGODI'MONFIRE.  A pretty good place to learn about individual heroes is at DotaCinema: they have spotlights on all the heroes, and even guides on how to play a few. Purge also did a few Purge Plays for them. There's quite a lot of other stuff in there as well that might not be of interest to a newbie, but you could take a look.
DotaCinema: http://bit.ly/13OChZi
A more advanced, stranger way to learn a hero is watching Dopatwo videos. They are drawn-animations highlighting fun stuff you can do with certain heroes (cliffing with Rubick, Magnus+Sven super cleave, lane-cutting with Axe, etc.) Once you learn all the heroes' skills, Dopatwo can help you excel with them. Fair warning: they have a very... odd sense of humour.
Dopatwo: http://bit.ly/1BhoPKH

FOR LOL PLAYERS
If you're from a League of Legends background (like myself), one of the biggest hurdles is acclimatising yourself to the differences between the two games. An experienced LoL player can play quite a few games of Dota well and then run into a wall because they carried forward certain harmful assumptions, such as how supports work. A very useful post on the differences between the games at LiquidDota: http://bit.ly/1rnnzzG

Other Useful Links:
The Dota 2 Reddit. Use the sidebar. Love the sidebar. http://www.reddit.com/r/
dota2
Old school DotA, and discussions on it. http://www.playdota.com/
The wiki is a nobrainer. http://dota2.
gamepedia.
com/