Fighting the bullies

You enter your 10 year old son's room and you find him sitting in a corner, with a faint light on; he is sad and you don't know why. Many parents these days suffer from such a situation. Some are lucky enough to hear the reason from their children, while others face the misery of seeing their children sink into depression when they cannot express what is killing their self-esteem. Bullying in school is a common phenomenon and must be something that demands discussions. 

Cases:
Bullying can happen in various ways, the most innocent form being name-calling, or twisting of name and calling something similar to it. This can go from verbal to emotional to physical, with words turning into acts of physical torture. 

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WHO are the bullies?
It is often seen that children who see violence at home, especially among their parents, tend to vent out their frustrations when they come to school. Being abused at home also gives them the exposure that they have a right to assault others or to dominate others. Some have ego-centric issues, which are mainly derived from being an uncontrollably pampered child. Most experts agree that children who are prone to bullying have some unresolved low self-esteem issues. 

When the apple of your eye comes under an educational institution where they have to share the attention with hundreds of others, that is when they opt for bullying to sustain their dominant position. Video games and TV shows may also play a key role behind their aggressive behaviour. 

Lasting effects:
Out of the numerous effects of bullying, the long-term ones include depression, anxiety, insecurity, suicidal tendency, loss of self-esteem and trust issues. Even the bullies face the risk of developing antisocial personality disorder.

Prevention: 
A few steps need to be taken if one is being bullied. Firstly, always remember that prevention is the best method. Bullies need to be avoided and unless you are adept at quick retorts, comebacks should be avoided. A bully spends all his time thinking of ways to put others down and thus they are usually skilled and should not be challenged in their own game. Killing them with kindness is a better solution. Secondly, one must always try to walk away instead of getting physically involved and if fists are to be thrown, always do so in self defense and don't be the first one to start. 

Class teachers have a vital role in the lives of children at school. Early in the morning, it is usually advised to spend 5-10 minutes in an orientation to guide the children, and show them how important it is to live in harmony and to be kind and gentle to your friends. A lesson on ethics and morality tend to teach the children the significance of good behavior. Also the teacher must be accessible and discuss and deal with issues of bullying when they come up. 

Upon identifying a bully of a victim, a counselor can be of much use and not only help the child, but also guide his family how to be supportive and to fix the shortcomings from their side. However, counselors are still not seen widely. Finally, remember bullies thrive off the fear they generate so do what must be done but show no fear. Animal instincts mean they pounce on the weak so do not be weak. 

By Sonya Soheli
Photo: Collected