A very special birthday gift….
Our lives take new turns at different phases as we get to meet people and make new friends broaden the list and build special relationships with those who touch our lives in various ways. Yes, it is true that some wither away for many reasons or no reasons at all. If it is circumstances that compel the separation, it is easier to forget the loss but when we lose some of those whom we take into our hearts as special, just because they change for no reason, we really get hurt. While it is true that time heals every wound, none can deny the harsh reality that such hurts leave a deep scar.
I am in my fifties now and when I look back I realise amazingly how some friends have held on to me in my good and bad times consistently, with the same level of devotion and passion. They never looked at my status or professional position because their friendship was unconditional and genuine. While I continue my efforts to forget those who have demeaned the real essence of friendship, hurt my feelings and abandoned me like the 'spring birds'. I still struggle to ascertain the reasons behind their strange behaviour.
I was born on 3 May. I never intend to celebrate my birthday with special pomp but I have always been very lucky to be remembered on that day by my family and friends. They just turn up with gifts and flowers to wish me. So, I make it a point to keep myself prepared and arrange for food without knowing how many will turn up. Therefore, every year 3 May becomes memorable for me and the joy lives on to rejuvenate me for days and months.
This year was different for me. I was not in my usual frame of mind. I prayed that my friends forget the day [though I knew my family would remember] as I didn't wish for any celebration. There were two reasons first, thinking about the tragedy in Savar and the sufferings of the surviving victims; second, having experienced the 'unexpected' behaviour of those whom I considered my very 'own' and who disowned me after I left my job at a diplomatic mission last year. I thought I was becoming history. But I was absolutely wrong. Like every year, the real friends remembered and turned up with gifts, flowers and made me feel very special. I felt a bit uneasy as my arrangement was not the same as in previous years. However, I can't deny that the gestures made me very happy and revitalized my spirit…..to believe that true friendship and love are always unconditional. I received about 65 greeting messages from friends at home and abroad including my former colleagues and bosses, which all showed I am still alive in their thoughts. The day also gave me strength to decide that I should detach myself from the selfish ones who only pretended to be my 'friends'…..in my good days.
Before calling it a day and going to bed, I looked again at all the gifts. It is a habit with me since childhood. One particular gift touched my heart to the core. It was from Ayon, an 11 year old boy who has been my ardent admirer over the last seven years. He is the son of a journalist friend and has been consistent in his love for me, even in my bad days when I was going through difficult times and did not reciprocate his emotions. This unique bonding started building up since he was only four. He considered me his second mother and I also enjoyed owning him as my second child, my son [my only child is a daughter, settled in Sydney, Australia].
I was looking at his gift and could not hold back my tears. He brought this gift a file folder from Aarong, around 12:30 on his way back from school and quickly left my house after handing it over to me. At night his mother came to wish me and then unfolded the most amazing thought behind Ayon's gift after she heard about his brief visit earlier. She was surprised to find out the reason for his return home later than usual. Ayon's mother told me that he had saved from the money allocated for his tiffin and bought my gift ensuring that the colour suited my taste. How very thoughtful!! His mother even pulled his leg, saying, 'You seek money from me for buying gift on my birthdays, but you spent your own money for your Neelima auntie?' I was speechless, thinking about this little boy sacrificing his tiffin money for me. I am a strong believer that there cannot be any love without sacrifices. I instantly realised how lucky I was to be loved by Ayon.I kept on wondering at the many colours and layers love has. This little boy literally watered my dying trust and belief in love.
Yes, my faith was fading away due to the betrayal of a handful few 'so called dear ones'. Honestly speaking, it reflects the scenario in today's world. The real cause of sufferance for the majority is just a handful few. We can see the whole nation going through a deep crisis because of the excessive greed, lack of principle sincerity of a handful few. Therefore, Ayon's gift was not merely a gift, it was a revelation that this world has more good people than bad ones and is still a place where people want to live. Bangladesh, a very small country on the world map, is no exception. With all its flaws, it is the best and I always feel proud to be a Bangladeshi. Here, the good outnumber the bad, as we have seen during the recent tragedy in Savar, how citizens rushed there and worked day and night, just for helping out the victims of greed of people like the owner of the building who did not think about the human lives. For him, his own financial gain was a top priority. In contrast are the good hearted people risking their own lives to rescue those trapped in. The tragedy also reminds us that no one wants to give up, everyone trapped inside were crying 'save me', 'help me', 'get me out of here'.
Then why was I giving up? Just because of a nominal number of selfish ones who betrayed me, hurt my trust in them? Ayon, in his own humble way, has beautifully taught me to look at the long list of well-wishers and admirers I have and thank my stars - rather than let any negative feelings alter my faith in God's special blessings, like love and friendship. If I stop loving myself then I will be disrespecting those who have been and still are true to me.Ayon's gift is priceless and I shall treasure it as long as I live.
SYEDA NAZNEEN FERDOUSI LOVES MUSIC AND IS A POETRY ENTHUSIAST.
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