Musings
The pain of aging
Photo: Goldenyearshumor
Pain and gain are related terms. "No pain, no gain" is a well-known proverb. Some pains are tolerable, some are not. We take painkillers, when our body needs to overcome pain.
Sometimes in our old age there is a feeling of pain, when we are in a vacant or lonely mood. As we grow old these pains grow with us. "No pain but champagne" – rhymes and sounds cheerful to our ears.
Recently while visiting America – I have noticed with more care than before – the lifestyles and determination of elderly women in particular and I find it very praiseworthy. I was impressed by observing their social life and their conduct in public places - that was all that I was exposed to. I noticed they were well-dressed and wore light make-up. Even those around seventy kept themselves occupied doing part-time jobs or charity work.
"We are born free, but everywhere we are chained". In our childhood our parents look after us and we have to follow rules and regulations. In school we are taught by our teachers and conduct ourselves under their strict supervision and management. My generation has mostly gone through arranged marriages which is now no longer the norm. Our parents looked for a suitable "life partner" and in consultation with relatives and elders of the family we were married off. With the commencement of marital life other sets of rules come into play. It is not all bliss as one may wish to think. There are a lot of obstacles. Two hearts never meet and meld into one another, they move in different and often opposite directions. Two hearts always beat to different tunes.
Ultimately a young vibrant woman turns into an old lady – having gone through the turbulence of giving birth to and bringing up children. Then seeing them grow, get educated, then one married off to a suitable boy and the other finding his own spouse and leaving home to build their own lives. The old lady is now also a mother-in-law in addition to being a wife and a mother – so the attachments the relationships, the bonds are still there.
The old woman in America seems to me to be free from many such bonds. She keeps herself busy and active, is fashionable, well dressed, drives her own car and lives her life of her own free will – which I guess comes from her financial independence. That, to me is obviously praiseworthy.
Social responsibility is a very important part of democracy in any country. In America social responsibility towards women, the elderly, the disabled is very noticeable to me and very much appreciated by me. People are always giving a helping hand to one another.
The pain of aging can be tolerated can be overcome with conscious effort. Old woman with a young heart – is a matter of determination. I think feeling young is important. Any important change must first come in the mind. We must take heed that "Life is nothing but a journey".
I recall the elderly lady (obviously above seventy) selling tickets at the movie theater – bright red lipstick looks nice on her. Her winning smile makes me think of the ABBA song "See that girl…….". She may not be the "Dancing Queen" but her positive attitude towards life definitely lessens her pain of aging. That is determination.
The pain of aging is nothing but a natural and normal process of a human body. We cannot possibly heal it but surely endure it by our determination to be happy and by leading an active life.
For us the elderly, it's best to take life lightly – to sing a song. Let's sing that song………..
Shamima Tanveer is a housewife and married to a businessman.
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