THIS WEEK'S HOROSCOPE

ARIES
Maybe if you said yes, the popsicle wouldn't melt in you. 

TAURUS
Daddy likes it when you pass your exams. 

GEMINI
If you went to school harder, we'd be better friends. 

CENCER
Don't grow up. It's not a trap. 

LEO
I wish we all travelled in school vans. Together. 

VIRGO
Let's get a bicycle. You can be the cycle. 

LIBRA
Hey, my moustache is fake. You can touch it. Please check it. It's nice. 

SCORPIO
There's candy in my plan. 

SAGITTARIUS
I can be the doctor and you can be the pharmaceutical representative. 

CAPRICON
I see that you have all As in your report card. How about an F? 

AQUARIUS
Too old, didn't read. 

PISCES
Did you ever own a Gameboy Advance? No? Perfect.