‘It is like taking away food from mouth’

Following a medical assessment under sex eligibility regulations that permanently banned her and 19-year-old sprinter Kabita Roy from competing in the women’s category, 28-year-old national record-holder athlete Jannat Begum spoke to The Daily Star’s Anisur Rahman over the phone from Bajitpur, Kishoreganj. She opened up about the athletics federation’s decision, its impact on her livelihood, the toll of public humiliation, and more. Excerpts follow:

The Daily Star (DS): We understand you are going through a very difficult time since the decision was made.

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Jannat Begum (JB): No words are coming out of my mouth. I am in a state of great tension and depression, under immense pressure because so many people across Bangladesh are talking about this. I am mentally and physically broken.

My family depended on my small salary from the Bangladesh Army. My father is sick and old, and my mother cannot walk without medicine. The entire responsibility was on me.

I have two younger sisters and a younger brother. I have already helped marry off my two sisters. I personally spent about seven to eight lakh taka behind their wedding events. I cultivated rice on leased land, and now about 200 to 250 maunds of paddy have been submerged in water in the haor (wetlands) in Kishoreganj. I am facing a loss of about 2.5 lakh taka because of that. Overall, I am in a bad situation right now.

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Athletics federation bans Jannat, Kabita from women's events after sex eligibility assessments

DS: How are your close ones supporting you?

JB: What will they say? They say they have nothing to say other than to have patience and rely on Allah. I am not really getting support from anyone in that way; that is the reality. I am just trying to pray five times a day.

DS: How do you view how this is being presented?

JB: Things are totally wrong in our society. Everything is flooded in the media now. They are humiliating and disgracing me. People make a mountain out of a molehill, though I never went through such a situation during my student life where I even won gold medals in different athletics events.

If their own daughters faced this issue, could they have tolerated it? If they present me as a man, then society should recognise me as one.

DS: What were your initial feelings when informed of the decision?

JB: I felt really bad, but I have no hands in it because I am created by Allah and I have to accept it.

DS: How do you feel about your achievements being wiped away?

JB: I used to love sports very much. Because I loved sports, perhaps Allah placed me in such a position. I faced obstacles repeatedly in every game. It is like taking away food from my mouth because I worked so hard to achieve this, and someone else just erased it. If they had done proper testing earlier, at least I would have known my position. Is it right to handle someone’s honour and dignity like this?

DS: Why were you rarely seen receiving medals on the podium?

JB: I used to go sometimes but during competitions, people talked a lot, and I couldn’t tolerate it (negativity). They made harsh comments; it hurt my self-respect, so I didn’t go.

DS: Do you plan to take legal steps?

JB: I will see and communicate with others and figure out how to proceed. If I find a way, I will definitely take action.

DS: How did you get involved in athletics originally?

JB: Naturally, everyone saw me as a female from birth, through my school years, all the way up to college. From a young age, I used to run around -- working in the fields and tending cattle, or carried meals for my father. I had a unique passion for running and playing from childhood. In small school-level competitions, whether running or playing football, I did well. I used to go to the market running. I won various prizes at school -- like cups, mugs, glasses, bowls, and plates. I did sprint runs, long jump, high jump, discus throw, shotput and always came out on top.

I initially joined BJMC (Bangladesh Jute Mills Corporation) and played kabaddi, but an official told me, “Don’t play kabaddi, go play athletics.” That is when I started competing nationally in 2021. Afterwards, I joined Navy for a short period before switching to Bangladesh Army since 2022.

DS: What should sports authorities do to protect athletes’ dignity?

JB: Sports are an integral part of a person's mind. The government should make such arrangement, so that athletes like us can continue playing. If the government takes initiative, I could continue.

But the federation should keep sensitive tests confidential so an athlete’s social dignity remains intact. If they had sent a confidential letter to the Army, they could have addressed it with me directly without throwing me into public humiliation.

DS: Did you ever imagine facing a situation like this?

JB: After playing for a few days, I always felt a sense of fear inside because the opposition teams kept complaining. I was suspended once in 2021, and the federation told me to wait while they processed documents. They assured me that if I could play, I would play; otherwise, I wouldn't. So, I was on waiting status and focused on my studies.

DS: You mentioned that you were never medically assessed for this when you were growing up. Did your family ever seek medical advice about anything related to your physical development during your childhood?

JB: No, my parents never understood any of this. We were very simple people. If my parents had taken me to a doctor back then, maybe a solution could have been found. I believe it was possible through medical treatment, but our financial situation was a big constraint. At that time, I didn't have anyone around to support me or guide me like that. Money was a major issue; our financial condition was very poor.

DS: You have spoken about the possibility of receiving medical care. If you were able to access the support you need, would you like to return to athletics in the future?

JB: My faith is in my Allah. If God helps me through someone's support to go through the medical treatment, then it is possible to return to the track. However, it takes a lot of money, but I am a very poor person, and who will come forward to help me? I have a lot of determination inside me. If God ever gives me the chance, I will answer a brick with a stone.

DS: What are your plans for the future?

JB: I am under a lot of stress. Only my teachers or coaches understand my pain. When someone talks to me, they can tell what level of person I am.

I don’t know whether I can stay in athletics as a coach, but if I get that opportunity, I would like to receive advanced coaching training in the future, but right now I can't say for sure.