TANGENTSBy Ihtisham Kabir
Leaving <i>Home </i>
Parental advice is not just for kids. Photo: Ihtisham Kabir
This time every year, many young people leave home for pursuing higher studies, like I did years ago. When I left home, my parents gave me two small notebooks filled with advice for an independent life. Over the years I have updated and shared this advice, reproduced below, with nephews, nieces and my own son. 1. Achieve your goals: Write down your goals before you leave home. This is your most important mission, the one you must achieve. 2. Take care of your health: studies demand energy; then there are extracurricular activities. Get enough rest, exercise and good nutrition. Avoid junk food. Exercise caution when seasons change or when a disease goes around. It is no fun being sick far from your family. 3. Learn: Learn your field of study. Learn where you can find the things you need to know. Learn how to organise your thoughts, your work and your life. Learn something that you will never get another chance to learn, e.g., Chinese or Latin or playing the guitar. Learn to dream big and how to turn them into reality. 4. Producer, not consumer: the world is consumer-oriented, and you will be tempted to spend and buy things. But this is also the time to learn to be the producer who makes those things. For example, instead of buying a fashionable new computer, try making one yourself from the parts. 5. Be yourself: A new place and new people may place many demands on you. Never forget who you are. Always be proud of yourself, your culture, and your values. This does not mean you do not adapt but that you remain steadfast on your foundation, the one that your parents and your teachers spent years helping you build. Don't do things that will shame your family or teachers. 6. Don't quit before finishing your studies. 7. Stay on top of coursework: In four years of a demanding engineering education, I never stayed up all night to study. My secret was to stay ahead of my coursework and get help from teachers well ahead of deadlines. 8. Avoid vices: Pick sensible friends who will not lead you astray. Learn to deal with temptation: avoid drugs and alcohol; don't overeat. But don't become a monk or a nun either - enjoy your youth which comes only once. 9. Teachers: Show respect to teachers, work with them and learn the most from them. Don't be shy about negotiating better grades if you believe you deserve better, and can prove it. 10. New situations: You will always face new situations, sometimes in urgent circumstances. Be unwavering in your faith. Don't panic or give in easily. Take your time making a decision. Avoid shortcuts. 11. Friendships: Build friendships with good people and nurture them. Be a leader for the smart people around you - who knows, they might become your partner in that empire you build one day. 12. Succeed and make us proud!
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